Widow (Reapers MC Book 4) Read online

“I told her that I left her father when I was pregnant because he wanted to be with someone else.” I will never hide anything from Zoe and I feel that what I’ve told her is as close to the truth as possible, while still keeping it kid friendly. She doesn’t need to know that he fucked my best friend, or vice versa.

  “Idiot,” Nikolai grumbles, starting right at him. “How you could cheat on a girl like this, I have no clue.”

  Widow cocks his head at Nikolai and chuckles, “You picked a real interesting one to shack up with here, Melody. Where’d you find him, Russian mail order husbands?” He spits out my name like venom, knowing very well that Melody isn’t my name anymore.

  “Fuck you.” I snap, trying to hold in my emotion. Every time he speaks I find myself losing control a little bit more. I never was able to cry all those years ago because I didn’t want to risk hurting Zoe. My doctors kept telling me how stress was bad for the baby … but now I don’t have to worry about my stress. Now … I can feel everything. I just don’t want to feel it.

  “You can try, but it won’t happen.” Widow wiggles his eyebrows at me, showing me that he’s only become more of an ass. “I need to see my daughter and we need to work this fucking co-parenting thing out.” Widow sticks his hand down and pulls something from his pocket. Nikolai tenses up but as his hand comes back into view, I see it’s a white envelope.

  He hands it to me, “I’ve sure missed a lot of child support.”

  I should be thankful for this because so many women don’t have their baby daddy’s throwing money at them, but I’m not like every other woman. I push it back, “I don’t need your money.”

  “You might not, but Zoe will when she decides to go to college, or buy her first car. Just take the fucking money and put it in her college savings account. I know you gotta have one of those for her.” I wait a moment and take the cash. He’s right, I do have one and she will need it.

  “I don’t fucking like you,” I furiously tell him.

  “Ditto, but we have a kid and have to work this shit out.” Widow stops and looks at Nikolai, “Even with your boyfriend observing our lovely conversation.”

  I decide to get a little shitty with him. “That’s alright. You could’ve brought Amara to the party. Things would’ve really been interesting then.”

  It’s like what I’ve said has cut him deep, and I honestly don’t care, but I am taken aback. It makes me wonder what’s happened, because something obviously has. “Listen closely, I’ve already lost one child and I won’t lose another. When am I meeting my daughter?”

  I pull out my phone and try to process the riddle that he’s just told me while I’m scrolling through the calendar. “We can fit you in on Tuesday after school. She doesn’t have any extracurricular’s that day.”

  “Alright. Text me the time, when and where. I’ll see you then.” Widow grabs his black iced coffee and exits the booth, shooting out the door and down the street until he’s out of view.

  “He’s a piece of shit if I’ve ever seen one.” Nikolai tells me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

  “Yep, and you don’t even know the half of it.” I murmur, leaning my head against him. Now I just need to face the fact that Zoe is going to meet her father on Tuesday night. Oh, and I guess I’d better tell her about it.

  17

  Every person is a new door to a different world.

  -Anonymous

  Widow

  “Have you ever thought of letting us know where the hell it is that you’re running off to?” Amara begins snapping at me the second I dismount off my bike.

  It shouldn’t be a surprise to her that I’m in a bad mood, and a very sour one at that. “I just met up with Melody to discuss visitation with my daughter.” I hiss out, still not used to calling her by her new name. She may be Rebel now … but she’ll always be Melody to me. I’ll admit, I didn’t expect her to bring a bodyguard to our meeting. I also didn’t foresee her having a new love interest. That was dumb on my part though. She’s always been a gorgeous girl, and even more so now.

  Amara’s mouth drops open and a small “Oh,” comes out. I stand here and stare at her for a few moments before she starts to speak again. “Sorry, you caught me off guard with that.”

  “You did ask where I was.”

  I know that this shit isn’t easy for either of us. Her and I …shit, our relationship only formed because of a selfish act, which led to us relying on one another. We only got together because we had no one else and we’ve been doing this shit for years. I may love Amara in a way, but I’m not in love with her, not in the way a man should love a woman. Honestly, I think I can say the same about her. I think it was a little different for Amara, though. The way she looked at me after I told her what I was doing … she looked like she was in pain, like it fucking hurt her. If anything, it shows me that she’s having a harder time letting go. “She made sure to bring her boyfriend along with her,” I add, seeing if that will help.

  Immediately I can tell Amara isn’t as uncomfortable. She’s always been a good woman at hiding her feelings, but there’s something about her trying to hide them with me – she sucks at it. Even though our relationship was different … I don’t know if our break up would classify as different. She must be like any other woman who has a hard time seeing her ex with another woman, but Melody isn’t any other woman … she’s the one. Or so I thought she was all those years ago. It just turned out she was the one I needed to push away, the one who was too good for me.

  I know what I did was wrong, fucking Amara and making Melody leave. Maybe if I had done things differently, my daughter would have been in my life from the get-go. It’s no use thinking about it now, though. I won’t ever be able to change the past, but I sure can make sure that the future is a hell of a lot different.

  I want my little girl, Zoe, to know that I love her so much. I wanna be able to show her that she has a dad who will always be by her side and all the little things that girls need. Soon I’ll have that opportunity and honestly, I’m fuckin’ terrified. “Oh … I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

  “Yeah, some Russian bastard from the looks of it. ‘Mar …” I call her by her nickname, which shows her that I want to discuss something serious. “Be honest with me. Were you trying to push me back to her? After you found out she had my kid and all that?”

  “Yes,” She confesses in a breathless whisper. “I thought that I’d just … do what I needed to do … and you’d hate me so much that you’d run right back into her arms and become father of the year at the same time.”

  “I seriously doubt that’s going to happen. She’s a completely different person, ‘Mar. She’s a lioness, callous and cold as hell. She grew some balls, and even thought I was on the opposite side of it … I’m proud of her for learning to stick up for herself. Melody … er … Rebel and I will never be together again. It just won’t happen.”

  “Never say never,” She mumbles, looking up at me.

  A gust of wind blows sand up, shocking us both for a moment. “No, trust me. She seems pretty smitten with the Russian dude. Plus, she’ll never forgive me for what you and I did. On top of that, she’s a changed woman and let’s be frank … I’m a changed man.”

  “I heard you were flirting with one of the Jackal’s anyway,” Amara lets out a soft laugh, and I can’t tell if it bothers her or not.

  I don’t know why, but I’m so concerned about her feelings. It’s probably because we were together for a while, but I’ve always viewed her more as a friend than anything. “Is that alright?”

  She offers me a soft smile, “Widow, you don’t have to ask me for permission to fuck, date or marry anyone. You and I know it was never gonna work. That eventually this would happen. To be honest, it’s easier for me to handle that you wanna fuck some brand new chick versus the one that ran away.”

  “One that got away,” I correct her.

  She raises a brow, “No, I meant what I said. It’s fitting to the situation at hand.”

/>   “Alright. I just don’t wanna hurt you. I’ve hurt enough people over the years I think.”

  Amara takes a step towards me and wraps her arms around my body. I pull her into a soft hug, “We’ve both hurt people, Widow. We’re human after all, and we sure as fuck aren’t perfect by any means.”

  Amara takes a step back as the sudden sound of a bike pulls our attention to the driveway as we see someone gunning it towards us. Sand flies up behind the wheels, leaving a trail in the wind. “Who the fuck is that?”

  “Ah, that must be Mouser, the new prospect. We’ve been waiting on him for quite a while. Looks like the bastard took his time getting here. Get ready, Widow. He’s not like any of the other prospects we’ve ever dealt with before. He’s Reapers royalty, and his family are bounty hunters.”

  Well shit, this should be interesting.

  18

  Things end, people change and you know what? Life goes on.

  -TheLoveBite

  Rebel

  After my lovely meeting with Widow I went straight into work, but before that happened, Nikolai and I had an in depth conversation. I think it was much needed, especially considering that he referred to himself as my boyfriend. Something that neither of us had discussed.

  For so long, I thought it was just sex with Nikolai but now I find myself not knowing what it was at all. He wanted me to fuck him. That’s obvious by the amount of times he requested dates with me. Bu t… I was naïve to think that’s all he wanted. At least, I feel that way now.

  Deep down I think that I have a lot of issues. In all reality, I’d probably be a therapist’s wet dream with how many people have abandoned me throughout my life, and then you add in the fact that I’ve been betrayed time and time again. If I over analyze myself, because let’s be real, I’m doing it right now, I think I wanted to believe I was just a quick fuck for Nikolai. If I was just a quick fuck, I knew my place and couldn’t be hurt by anything he said or did.

  It turns out, the man always wanted something more and he vocalized that today. First, he stuck up for me and called himself my boyfriend and when he was dropping me off at work he solidified what he wants between us.

  Now, I have to have a conversation with Gia about my job. One that I don’t think she’ll mind … but one that is risqué. I don’t think I’m the first girl who’s ever decided to date a Crave client, and I doubt I’ll be the last … but it’s still frowned upon.

  I’m not just a Crave girl though. I’d only taken part in the girlfriend experience to get some extra cash. My main job is OneEye and that’s what I’m constantly doing, taking photos and videos and then uploading them on this platform. I checked this morning and my followers grew by a hundred thousand last night alone. I post minimal things on my own social media, and leave it on OneEye instead. Personally, I think it’s much more secure because we know who is subscribing to see this exclusive content.

  I make my way into the skyscraper and walk through the grand lobby, heading for the elevators. As I wait, I pull the keycard that I have out of my purse and have it ready for when I enter. To get to certain floors, you need to have a pass. Everyone that works for Crave, and each member has a keycard to gain entry to the top four floors.

  The door opens and I walk in, insert my keycard and select the floor I want to go to. I pull out my keycard and place it back inside my purse. The floor I chose is the one where I know Gia will be, and she is the head bitch in charge that I need to speak to.

  I wait in what feels like the longest elevator ride possible, thinking about what it is that I’m going to say to her. I’m just hoping that she won’t be pissed and that she’ll understand I want to explore things with him. Gia doesn’t know me in a close manner, but she knows enough to understand I’m the type of woman that keeps to myself, especially when it regards men. She’s never seen me with a boyfriend because … well, I’ve never had one since I’ve been working for her.

  “Hey there,” Gia says to me the second I walk off the elevator. She’s in a skin tight, blood red dress and looks fabulous as always. I don’t know how on earth this woman is still single. It just blows my fucking mind. “I was just looking for you. You show up at the best of times!” Gia giggles to herself, looping her arm with mine as she hauls us towards her office.

  “I actually need to talk to you about something,” I don’t let my tone give anything away, but I take note of the way Gia looks at me. While she still seems to be upbeat, she’s coming off nervous to me as well.

  “Alright. You can go first,” Gia tells me as we enter through her iron double doors. I’ve seen a lot of offices through my years, but hers is something else entirely. It’s black with gold accents everywhere, reminding me of something classical from the past with a modern flare. Her furniture is a mixture of vintage and new age, but somehow she makes it work.

  I walk towards her matte black velvet couch and take a seat, “I’m not quitting, so don’t worry.” I say, joking around with her.

  Gia’s face remains stoic and I continue on. “I made the decision that I am pulling myself from the girlfriend experience roster. It was never my full time gig to begin with, and OneEye should be my main focus.”

  She furrows her brows together as I tell her, betting that she’s trying to understand the reasoning behind my decision. “I agree with you, however I’m curious about where this sudden change of heart came from. When I talked to you previously, you liked the girlfriend experience because of the money. You also mentioned how you really were taking to one of your clients, Nikolai if I’m not mistaken.” She’s absolutely right. I had a conversation with her when I first started doing this and told her that I was getting along well with him. I had gone out on a few other dates and we just didn’t mesh well, but the money was good so I took it. Obviously, I didn’t fuck them. The only one I’ve fucked has been Nikolai.

  I take in a deep breath and tell her the God’s honest truth. “Nikolai and I have grown closer over these past couple of weeks.”

  “Oh, wow. I didn’t have any clue you two were interested in one another like that.”

  “I thought we were just fucking.” I admit, letting out a small laugh at the end. “But he’s shown me a different side to himself, and I want to explore the possibility of what we could end up being. You don’t know a lot about my past, Gia, but I’ve been the girl who’s royally been fucked by men. It takes a lot for me to be open to trusting another one, and here I want to trust Nikolai. I’m just hoping he won’t do what others have.”

  “We’ve all been there, sweetheart. I want you to be happy, but you know how this looks.” Here we go, the boss lady is coming out. “I need to have a conversation with Emma, Briar and Diem.” Those are the other three women who own Crave, LLC alongside Gia. “We have a stipulation in our contracts that state no one can date clients of the company. And if so, you know what happens …” We lose our job, that’s what happens.

  “Yes, and while I understand that, I signed a contract for OneEye, not to be on the roster. That should be taken into consideration.” I pull my phone out from my purse and bring up the contract, showing it to her.”

  She takes my phone and reads over the contract for a minute, “The same stipulation isn’t in your contract for OneEye.”

  “Because it’s a different area of Crave,” I state. I won’t lose my job, not when it fits perfectly. I can go to club appearances and promote, plus post exclusive content and gain more subscribers and cash. It’s a win-win.

  “Looks like you’re in the clear, but I’ll have to talk to Diem about it to make sure. She is our legal guru.”

  “This isn’t sexual harassment, Gia. Nikolai pursued me.”

  “I understand that, but you know I’m a business owner and we have to double check everything.”

  “Yeah, I sure do.” I try not to be frustrated with her, but I can’t help it. I’m human, and seeing that there’s this small possibility that I could lose my job because of this doesn’t make me happy. It’s extremely fru
strating. If they come for me though, I will fight them tooth and nail. “Let me know, either way.” I comment, rising from the couch I head for the door.

  As soon as I’m out and into the hallway, I take a few steps before I feel a stinging sensation on the back of my head. “Fuck!” I whip around and see Harlow with a glove on, sticking what looks to be my hair in a plastic bag. “What in the hell are you doing, woman!?”

  “I’m just getting your DNA.” She says it like it’s something she normally does.

  I cock an eyebrow and put my hand on my hip, “Care to explain?”

  “Carmen overnighted me a key to her penthouse here and she must’ve been there because she has a brush with blonde hair. So, I took some of the hair and I just took some of yours to see if you’re related.”

  “Have you lost your damn mind?” I ask, seeing ten types of crazy come out of this girl.

  “Nope, you two look alike and we both know I’m probably right. I’ll let you know when the results are in.” Harlow flies past me and disappears from my sight.

  Geeze, and I thought today couldn’t get any weirder.

  19

  Don’t depend too much on anyone, everyone changes when they meet new people.

  -Quote Scoop

  Widow

  “That’s Mouser?” I say aloud, looking at the man who just dismounted his bike. “He looks like a fuckin’ model. One of those who should be on those smutty romance novels. No way this dude is a biker. No fuckin’ way.”

  Amara laughs, “You’re just jealous because he’s prettier than you.”

  “You mean hotter?” I counter back.

  She chuckles, “No, I mean prettier because he is pretty. You’re just … rugged and grumpy.”

  “Shut it,” I grumble, knowing she’s right.

  Things feel awkward between us and I doubt that will go away. She isn’t just anyone. She’s one of my longest friends who turned into something a little more, who then ended up aborting my child. I have so much anger built up inside my body, but I know that no good will come of it. I’m not the spiritual type, but I need to find peace with what she’s done … even if it keeps me up in the middle of the night.