Widow (Reapers MC Book 4) Read online

  Widow

  Reapers MC Book #4

  Elizabeth Knox

  Available Now From

  Elizabeth Knox

  Series: Skulls Renegade

  Reign

  Redemption

  Revenge

  Relentless

  Reckoning

  Reclaimed

  Regret

  Reckless

  Reclusive

  Series: The Clans

  Promised

  The Trade

  Cherished

  Deceit

  Love is War

  Series: Steele Bros.

  Tough as Steele

  Stripping a Steele

  Series: Reapers MC

  Scarred

  Blackjack

  Here Kitty, Kitty

  Booger

  Series: Darkest nightmares

  Darkness

  Sin City Fets

  Switched

  Full Throttle

  Against All Odds

  Coming Soon From

  Elizabeth Knox

  Kade

  (Reapers MC Book #5)

  Protecting a Steele

  (Steele Bros Book #3)

  Hawk

  (Reapers MC Book #6)

  Bull

  (Reapers MC Book #7)

  Forbidden Love

  (Mackenzies Book #1)

  Tempt Me

  (Crave Book #1)

  Keep in contact with Elizabeth

  www.facebook.com/elizabethknoxbooks

  www.facebook.com/groups/KnoxsBookBabes

  www.instagram.com/elizabethknoxbooks

  www.twitter.com/eknoxbooks

  www.goodreads.com/eknoxbooks

  www.bookbub.com/authors/elizabeth-knox

  Stay up to date on what Elizabeth is working on

  https://dl.bookfunnel.com/875xywbx

  Widow

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to persons, organizations, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

  Widow. Copyright © 2019 by Elizabeth Knox. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations used in articles or reviews. For information, contact E. Knox.

  https://www.facebook.com/elizabethknoxbooks

  Cover design by Clarise Tan, CT Cover Creations

  Editing by Tania Jabbour Varela, Knox Publishing

  Formatting by Brynn Burke, Knox Publishing

  Proofreading by Brynn Burke, Knox Publishing

  Created with Vellum

  Acknowledgments

  My Author Tribe: Iris, GG, Jen, & Erin, – Thank you all for listening to my crazy antics with this one. I took a huge veer off of the outline that I created for this story and y’all helped reaffirm that our characters will take us down some pretty interesting roads. Here’s to another road that we’ve unexpectedly taken.

  My Beta Bitchaz: Laura, Tania, Chas, Michaela, Kenna, Rach, Court, Kim, Taneesha, Lisa, Vicky & Court – Thank you all for helping me with this story, and seriously, y’all helped me when I felt like throwing in the towel on this book. I was so confused, I wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to make this one work … but y’all kept pushing me, and I needed that. Thank you all so much!

  My Bloggers – You guys, I say it time and time again. I couldn’t do any of this without you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you all so much for continuing to support me, no matter the endeavor.

  My Editor, Tania – You told me from the get-go that you were claiming Widow as your man, and boy have you ever. I won’t write any spoilers here for the readers who do skim through this, but you encouraged me to take a giant leap when I had no idea where Widow and Rebel were taking me through this story. More importantly, you told me to trust my gut, even if it was absolutely terrifying. I think we both did an amazing job on this story, and can’t wait to hear what the readers think.

  Clarise, My Magical Unicorn – Clarise, I know I always say this …but this cover holds a special place in my heart. Thank you for always helping me turn my vision into a reality.

  KBB, My Babes! – You guys rock! I hope y’all don’t hate me when you’re done with this story.

  Rob & Brynn – Thank you both so much for representing my characters.

  Dedication

  Rob,

  I swear, I’m a shit person at putting things into words. It’s kind of odd, considering I’m a writer and all that. I will say, you are one of the most genuine people I have ever met. We’ve had ups and downs as all friendships do, but I sincerely view you as the older brother I never had. I can’t thank you enough for introducing me to the few good ones, who are far between in this industry.

  You’ve been here for me through the highs and the lows, when I’ve been in the deepest of depression and when I’m the dork of the year. Thank you for that, for keeping my head straight when I need it. Thank you for showing me the true meaning of tribe.

  We’re gonna make big things happen, I’m so sure of that. This one’s for you, brah.

  Playlist

  I Wanna Know – NOTD ft. Bea Miller

  Don’t Call Me Up (Acoustic) – Mabel

  Don’t Worry Bout Me – Zara Larsson

  All These Years – Camila Cabello

  SOS – Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc

  Bitter Love – Pia Mia

  Warning

  This content is intended for mature audiences only, this book contains material that may be viewed as offensive to some readers, including graphic language, dangerous and sexual situations, drug abuse, and extreme violence.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Epilogue

  Are you ready for the next book in the Reapers MC?

  Prologue

  Stop asking me to trust you while I’m still coughing up water from the last time you let me drown.

  -HPLYRIKZ.com

  Rebel

  8 years ago …

  “What’s the matter?” Rose, the youngest Raines girl asks me. I want to let out all of my hurt on someone, but that person can’t be this kid. Cause that’s all she is – a kid, barely twelve years old. I refuse to spit out my heartache on a little girl who must be looking forward to being in love, having a boyfriend and all the sweet parts of life that she thinks now exists.

  I will not be the person to tell her just how awful the world we live in is. That everything she thinks she’ll have is anything but one fucked up lie.

  Over the last twenty-four hours, I’ve been lied to a lot. Mostly, by my boyfriend, Widow. At this point I guess I can call him an ex … but it’s harder than it looks. I want to just get rid of him, toss him to the side like he didn’t sleep with one of these ratty clubwhores. I just can’t do tha
t. Thing’s aren’t simple anymore to say in the least.

  I found out two days ago that I’m pregnant, and yesterday I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the very first time. I’m nowhere near ready to be a mom, but from what my friends have told me, one is never ready for this type of life change. I don’t believe in abortion. I respect women who want to make that decision, understanding that it’s what they need to do. But it’s not what I need to do.

  The only thing I need to do right now is work on my relationship with Widow. For starters, I should probably tell him I’m pregnant.

  “Melody?” Rose says my name and I turn to her, plastering on a fake smile.

  I’ll fake it ‘til I make it if I have to. “Nothing, I just got caught up in my head for a minute.”

  “Well, you are always stuck in there.” Rose giggles. I wrap my arm around her and pull her into a side hug.

  “Yep, I sure am. I have to go handle some stuff though. I’ll be back a bit later, okay? Wanna rematch then?”

  Rose’s eyes widen as she smiles brightly. The two of us play checkers a couple times a week if I’m not too busy working. It may be silly that someone like me plays games with a kid, but I love it. It reminds me that there’s always time to sit back and relax, that I don’t always have to be in a rush all the time.

  Most days I spend at the small coffee shop that the Raines own in town. It’s where Rose comes after she gets out of school, and I’m just lucky that Quinn let me get a job here. It’s been good to get away from the club and put myself to work. With me being away from the club, Widow has gotten into a great deal of shit. I could be one of those typical women that say boys will be boys, but I think that’s a load of crap. It’s just an excuse for them to be royal assholes. Jesus, I hope whatever is growing in my tummy isn’t a boy. I’ll be fucked if he or she grows up to be anything close to its father. Widow is a handful by himself, I don’t need this baby to be too.

  Part of me wants to curse at myself, thinking that this has only happened because I haven’t been hovering around him. I constantly feel the need to remind myself that even if I was around, he’d be doing it with someone else, somewhere else. It’s not anything that I’ve done, and this isn’t my fault. It’s so hard to believe that sometimes though. It’s like my anxiety wants me to believe that the only reason he’s looking at another woman is because I’m not woman enough for him. It’s a total mindfuck.

  It’s just past six in the evening, and unlucky for us, we’ve just had a major snowstorm blow through. I love living in the Midwest, but I can’t tell you how much I hate driving when it’s snowing or icy out. Sometimes, I wish I grew up in another area because they can get away with not having to drive in the winter. I’m not so lucky. Instead, I must suffer and risk my life to drive from one place to the other.

  I make my way back to Widow’s house. It’s just on the outskirts of town, maybe two or three miles away from the club. I just made him move out here because I didn’t want temptation right in front of him. I bite my bottom lip, realizing how ridiculous that sounds in my head. It’s not like I’m dating some burly biker. I’m dating a man who looks like he could take part in the WWE, and not one of the okay looking ones. Widow is John Cena hot. That’s part of my problem.

  I wonder if I give him a good swing into his chompers, if his looks will fade when he’s missing a few teeth. I shake my head to myself as I pull into a parking spot on the street. Knowing him, women will think it’s even hotter and want to know the story behind it.

  Parking the car, I pull my keys out of the ignition and grab my purse, heading straight up the stairs to his place. I call it his place, but it’s more our place since I’m here almost every night. When I’m not here, it’s usually because I’ve stayed at a friend’s house and we’ve had a little bit too much wine.

  When I get to the top of the stairs, I punch in the code to get past the door and then insert my key in the next door. Opening the door slowly, I hear his voice. It sounds grumbled and irritated, but as he continues talking, I realize he’s plastered. “Jesus, what the fuck am I doing?”

  I hear a giggle, and immediately I’m telling myself that it can’t be. That I must be mishearing her. This can’t be the one person I think it is. No, she’d never do this to me. “You said you wanted to s-sink your c-cock in me.”

  Fuck my life seriously. He’s not the only one who’s drunk. I set my purse down on the couch and walk to our bedroom door. The lights are off, and since it’s still winter, it’s pretty dark out here. I don’t think either of them can see me, but I see the silhouettes of their bodies in our bed. Amara is riding him, his mouth on her tits.

  I don’t know what comes over me, but I have to stand here and watch. It’s like my brain won’t allow me to move from the sight I’m seeing. Do I need to let this horror sink into my body before I can leave? I slide my hand over my tummy, holding the barely there bump, wondering why this man that I adore more than anything can continue to do this to me. But now he’s crossed a line, he didn’t sleep with some whore.

  He slept with my best fucking friend.

  I turn slowly and grab my purse from the couch. Each step I take determines what I know has to be done. I won’t be meeting, Rose for a re-match. In fact, I won’t be seeing anyone from Utah ever again.

  Once I get in my car, I let the tears fall in a rush over my cheeks. I want to scream, I want to bloody my fists with both his and Amara’s blood, but I can’t do that. I know that I can’t let myself get too upset. I don’t just have to worry about me anymore. I have to worry about this little one inside me.

  If I’ve learned anything, it’s that our almost is what will haunt me. No matter what though, I know my baby and I will be okay. Widow might have made his choice to give up on our relationship, but I will never give up on my child. I’ll make damn sure I make a better life for the two of us. We don’t need him, we just need one another.

  1

  When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, you know you have healed.

  -Anonymous

  Rebel

  “Mom!” I turn my head around to look back at my daughter, Zoe, in the back seat. Terror is drawn across her face and I know what she’s going to tell me before it even comes out of her little, forgetful mouth.

  “Did you really forget your lunch again?” I raise my eyebrows up at my little wild child. Part of me thinks she’s doing this shit on purpose, not wanting to eat what I’ve been making her lately.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to this time. I swear it’s not because it’s Taco Tuesday.” I want to snap my fingers and tell her that I know she’s bullshitting me, but she’s seven years old, so I’ll let her get away with it until she’s at least eleven. She’s my only child, so I might let her get away with murder.

  I pull up into the carpool lane and dig into my purse, yanking out my wallet, I hand her a five dollar bill. “Today is the last day, Zoe. I mean it this time.”

  “The school feeds you crap. It’s not healthy.” She imitates and sticks her tongue out at me, snatching the money, she darts out the door and slams it shut behind her.

  I take in a deep breath, telling myself that it’s my fault for letting her be such a sassy little shit. If I was sterner with her, she’d be a little angel. All things considered, I’m lucky with her. For not having a Dad around, she doesn’t ask questions. Instead, she just accepts that it’s the two of us. In a sense, I’m blessed because a lot of the kids in her class are raised by single moms. It goes to show you how shitty the world can really be.

  I swing out onto I-15 and head North. I want to go home and let the dog out before I go into work. I can probably get a couple of shots uploaded online if I time my outfits right. I’ll just have to adjust my hair and makeup a teeny bit.

  I used to be one of those typical girls who would just post pictures of themselves online and get paid, but two weeks ago I signed a five year deal with a business called Crave, LLC. They’ve developed a brand new platform called One
Eye. It’s kind of like an adult version of SnapChat and Instagram. Only, I have the ability to make a lot more money pairing up with them. These girls sell sexual essence, and when I met them, I knew within the first ten minutes that these were the people I needed to sign with.

  They weren’t the first that approached me with an idea like this. Countless men did, but men are dumb and oh so close minded. I needed to be invested with innovators, and the innovators found me.

  ‘Don’t Worry Bout Me’ by Zara Larsson is playing through the speakers of my Range Rover Velar when a call rings through. I glance over to my display and see it’s Gia, one of my bosses. Reluctantly, I answer it.

  “Hey,” I greet her.

  “Morning. Are you on your way into the office? I’m in town to check in and see how things are going here.” Gia and her business partners, Briar, Emma and Diem just bought the top four floors of a major skyscraper in the city. They’ve turned it into another Crave, and the girls have started working. I closely befriended one of their girls named Harlow. She works in a subdivision of Crave called the girlfriend experience.