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  Reckless

  Skull Renegades MC, Volume 7

  Elizabeth Knox

  Published by Elizabeth Knox, 2018.

  Reckless

  (Skulls Renegade MC #7)

  Reckless

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to persons, organizations, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

  Reckless. Copyright © 2018 by Elizabeth Knox. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations used in articles or reviews. For information contact E. Knox.

  https://www.facebook.com/elizabethknoxbooks

  Cover design by Cosmic Letterz

  Editing by: Ann Jones, Knox Publishing

  Formatting by:

  Proofreading by Tracy Comerford, Knox Publishing

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Acknowledgements

  Playlist

  Dedicated to LINNY

  Warning

  Prologue | It’s hard to wake up from a nightmare if you aren’t even asleep. | - J. S. | Maria

  Chapter 1 | She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her eyes. | - @InspiredByTheFeeling | Pain

  Chapter 2 | “...and though her soul is soft, her soul was laced with steel” | - Lauren M. Garcia | Chaos

  Chapter 3 | The enemy is not fighting you because you are weak. He fights you because you are strong. | - Anonymous | Pain

  Chapter 4 | Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. | - Anonymous | Maria

  Chapter 5 | It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it. | - Anonymous | Pain

  Chapter 6 | She was trouble, chaos really, but her smile...her smile dared me to fall in love with her. | - Atticus | Chaos

  Chapter 7 | We all make mistakes but don’t let that be the reason you give up on somebody. | - Anonymous | Pain

  Chapter 8 | The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. | - Your Tango | Chaos

  Chapter 9 | Sometimes the hardest battle is against yourself. | - ThinkPozitive.com | Pain

  Chapter 10 | “It’s hard to wake from a nightmare, when the nightmare is real” | - Anonymous | Maria

  Chapter 11 | “You’re always one decision from a totally different life.” | - Anonymous | Chaos

  Chapter 12 | “You get into the biggest fights with people you care about the most, because those are relationships worth fighting for.” | - Curiano.com | Maria

  Chapter 13 | “Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart...If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” – William Shakespeare | Chaos

  Chapter 14 | All this pain, it will teach you everything worth knowing. | - A | Chaos

  Chapter 15 | I kissed her and forgot to breathe. It just didn’t seem important at the time. | - Atticus | Pain

  Chapter 16 | Never push a crazy bitch to the point where she no longer fears her actions. | - Anonymous | Maria

  Chapter 17 | Even though we never said it to each other, we knew. | - Anonymous | Chaos

  Chapter 18 | “A true lover is a fighter.” | - Anonymous | Chaos

  Chapter 19 | She’s both hellfire and holy water. And the flavor you taste depends on how you treat her. | - Sneha Pal | Maria

  Acknowledgements

  My Author Tribe: Iris, GG, Jen, Auden, Michelle, Erin, Linny, JP, Brynn, JA, & Christine – Thank you guys for supporting me throughout this crazy process.

  My Beta’s, Tania, Chas, Michaela, Keanna, Rach & Court – You guys....Lord...you put up with a lot from me in this book. Thank you all for constantly encouraging me and reminding me that I’m not a shit writer, even when I feel like I am. I love y’all to death.

  My Bloggers: Jenna, Jen, Shannon, Chasidy, Angie, Heather, Lizzie, Jamie, Amanda, Deanna, Angela, Rebecca, Alicia, Jamie, Christiana, Christiann, Kristin, Valerie, Anna, Cia, Leanne, Linda, Emilie, Shasta, Nichole, Erika, Starr, Gwen, Nicole, Ashley, Keanna, Myn, Heather, Primrose, Jade, Dusty, Jen, Kristen, Lena, Caroline, Jes, Tracy, Ann, Meaghan, Tina , Charlei, Nia, Marian, Becky, Vanessa, Philomena, Jamie-Lynne, Ashley, Linda, Kathleen, Ashley, Danielle, Laura, Keeana, Tai, Kathy, & Shirley – I say it again and again, but I really wouldn’t be able to do this without any of you. Thank you all so much for continuing to stick by me and my crazy antics!

  KBB, My Babes! – I hope y’all like this one. It’s definitely not a book that I ever planned on writing like this. It took me out of my comfort level so many times, and I hope you’re all excited to see the first part of Pain, Chaos and Maria’s story.

  Playlist

  Maria, Maria | Santana

  I Don’t Exist | Olivia O’Brien

  IDFC | Blackbear

  The World Belongs To Me | My Darkest Days

  Drugs | EDEN

  No Surrender | Judas Priest

  Dedicated to LINNY

  Linny, thank you so much for your support over the last couple months. I surely would have gone crazy without you helping calm me down. You’re the definition of a true friend: there when I absolutely needed your support.

  Here’s to slaying our dragons, every damn day.

  Warning

  This content contains material that may be viewed as offensive to some readers, including graphic language, dangerous and sexual situations, murder, and extreme violence.

  Prologue

  It’s hard to wake up from a nightmare if you aren’t even asleep.

  - J. S.

  Maria

  I should have foreseen this at some point, that Rafael would never truly be rid of me. A million thoughts run through my mind at what Kyle said to me tonight. Now we find out he is fighting for his life – bc of an act of harm done by a common enemy, the cartel that wants me back so badly. I don’t understand why, though. I’m nothing but a girl, the daughter of someone who used to work for Rafael. I didn’t know much of my father’s work, but I wasn’t a dumb little girl either.

  My friends would quietly whisper when they didn’t think I was around, and I would hear them say that my father works for the snake. That is what we call Rafael in Mexico, The Snake. I’ve heard stories that the cartel didn’t used to be so bad, but when Rafael’s father died and he took over, things changed for the worst. I wonder now if I even want to know what it was that my father did, or if it would make a difference. It wouldn’t, make a difference that is. Things happened in the way that they were supposed to, or so I like to believe. I like to believe The way I see it: that there is a higher meaning for the horrible things I was put through, but at the end of the day there is absolutely no meaning behind it. There is only one thing, bloodthirsty hunger and the man who holds it all: Rafael Ramirez.

  I open my eyes, pulling my blanket closer to me as I stare at the purple painting of a mustang that hangs across from my bed. I’m not a big fan of horses. Never really have been, but the symbolism of a meaning of the mustang fighting for her freedom resonates with me. In a way I guess we are the same. It’s ironic though, that I found my freedom as I was sold like a toy. I was terrified the day Reed purchased me, coming from Rafael I had assumed the worst. If only I had known back then what I know now, that I’d never feel more protected in my entire life. Not only by the club, but by Pain and Chaos too.

  I care for the two of them deeply, however they lied to me. They didn’t tell me something that I should have been made aware of. It’s odd that I’m not angry with Reed, I’m angrier with them over it. They should have told me, and it was wrong of them to hide it from me, especially considering this has eve
rything to do with me. Kyle flat out said that I’m the problem, that the cartel is coming after us because of me. Why did no one take a moment to consider I needed to be told about it?

  I close my eyes, and every time that I do tonight I only see one thing. The night that everything changed replays in my mind. I jolt myself off the bed and pace back and forth in the small confines of my room. Never do I want to see that night again, no matter what I do...I never want to see it. It’s the worst nightmare I could have ever imagined but the thing is that it isn’t a dream, it was my life.

  It still is my life.

  I walk out of my bedroom, careful as I can be to remain unseen as I make my way to the small bar we have in the main area. Luckily, Trick seems to be passed out on the couch and Enzo is snoozing away in the big chair a few feet away. They don’t matter to me though, I’ve only come here for one thing, and as I kneel behind the bar and open the cabinet, I breathe a little easier when my eyes land on the bottle of tequila.

  I wrap my hand around the nose of the bottle and open it, hopping up on the counter as I take a heavy swig. At this rate I don’t care who sees me, it’s not going to change how I feel or stop me from finishing off this entire thing

  “You’re nothing but a piece of trash. You only matter because I decide when you do.” His voice is heavy in my mind. I take another drink, drowning out the pain of the memories that have decided to resurface at the worst time ever to resurface. In my heart I know that no matter how much tequila I drink, nothing will ever drown out the pain that I experienced that night. There is no time for living in the past, only the future. My mother used to tell me that so much as a small child. I just wish that she was here now to tell me whatever it is that I need to hear. She always had a way of knowing just what to say to make me feel better about whatever it was that I was going through. If she were still alive she’d know what to say. I have no doubt about it.

  “Tequila won’t make it feel better.” Chaos suddenly comes into view. I don’t know how long he’s been there but I don’t really care. I’m really not in the mood to talk to him right now.

  “You’re a preacher now, hmm? One who gives advice that he can’t even follow?” I snip out, rolling my eyes at his hypocrisy, and taking another long swig. I revel in the way the tequila burns as it settles in my stomach. “We all have our vices, Chaos. Tequila is just mine”

  “And heroin is ours.” I stop what I’m doing and look at him, immediately searching his hands and arms, but when I don’t see the track lines I only wonder where else they could be. “Relax, Mar. I haven’t used and neither has Pain. I think he’s just sleeping or some shit”

  “Now is not the time to joke,” I tell him, my body feeling warm and fuzzy all over. This tequila always kicks in fast which is why I drink it. For a little bit of time it allows me to escape my own reality and forget about whatever it is that hurts me.

  “You should know better, I don’t joke.” He’s right. Chaos doesn’t joke at all. He actually has no sense of humor, which might be a bit odd to some people but for as long as I’ve known him he has been as dry as a tumbleweed. It is just part of who he is.

  “We couldn’t tell you, Mar, as much as we wanted to. Reed wouldn’t give us the okay, and that’s that. Now I’m sorry but I’m not gonna be standing here begging for your forgiveness or some shit. You gotta accept it.”

  When I first came here I never understood the way that they do things, how one man determines the fate of the club, makes all of the decisions and hopefully they’re the right ones. Now after being here for years, I understand far better than I ever expected. I bring the bottle back to my lips and take a few big, burning gulps before setting it next to me on the counter. I survey around the club, noting Trick and Enzo are still passed out before I look back to Chaos.

  “He haunts me when I’m awake now. All I hear is him,” I admit, wetness welling behind my eyes. I don’t want to cry, but I never have much choice in the matter.

  Chaos takes a few steps closer until he’s between my legs and his hands cup my face. “He’s not the one haunting you. Your fear is. And one way or another your fear is gonna lose, Taquita.”

  I nod, placing my forehead against his chin and let out a soft laugh. “You know how much I hate it when you call me that”

  “So? I love those things. They’re small and spicy just like you, so you’re my little Taquita. Get used to it.” Chaos lowers his hands to my neck and tilts my face up to look at him. This stern man may be just that, but I see so much more when I am with him. I don’t see the mask that he puts up in front of anyone else. I see him for the big heart he has behind his concrete armor. I push myself up on the counter until my lips hit his, kissing him with a tenderness that we both need. His lips flutter over mine, tongue darting in my mouth, owning my body in the way that he only knows how. He’s always so rough and closed off, something that I understand greatly, but even the guarded ones can be sweet sometimes. I am just thankful that we can rely on each other when we do.

  Chapter 1

  She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her eyes.

  - @InspiredByTheFeeling

  Pain

  I went to check in on Maria early this morning and found her in bed with Chaos. I guess they did some making up last night, not that it bothers me much since she’s ours. He misspoke yesterday in front of the brothers. Maria doesn’t belong to one of us, she belongs with both of us. If he truly felt that way then he would’ve said it straight to me. That’s what I’d like to hope anyway.

  I’ve been at the hospital sitting outside Kyle’s room for the last few hours. Michelle hasn’t left his bedside, not to eat or anything. I sent a text out to Seamus telling him that he needs to make sure that he brings something for her to eat when he stops by. Reed told us early this morning that she’s pregnant which just makes all of this ten times worse. Kyle can’t die. Not when he’s got a lady and a few babies to take care of.

  I hear a low cough from behind me and turn to see Michelle standing in the doorway to Kyle’s room. “I thought that maybe he would have heard me and decided to wake up by now, to not scare me half to death. They say that if you talk to them it might help them heal, or that’s what I’ve read online anyways...I feel so stupid, Pain”

  “You aren’t stupid, Michelle. We both know you’re far from it. You’re just hopeful and you have every right to be. Kyle’s gonna wake up, he just needs time to get better.” I don’t know what just got into me or where those words came from, but I hope I’m right. Kyle needs to wake up, and not just for Michelle and his kids. For the club. We need him too.

  There’s no telling what is coming, we only know one thing, that it isn’t good. Being a man down right now isn’t exactly ideal, but we’ve gotta make do with the help we have. I’m still just a fuckin’ prospect, even after all this time. I don’t think that Reed is ever going to forgive me for leaving Daisy. It was wrong of me and I’ve always admitted that. I knew it was wrong and I still left, but if I didn’t leave then Angel would have died. She’s always had a problem with drugs. Well the three of us always have but Chaos and I went to rehab and got out of those ways. We didn’t grow up privileged, or anywhere close to middle class in any sense of the term. Mom worked three jobs, and I’m pretty sure her third job was to keep her stash up for when she needed a hit. Dad was never around, so it was me, Chaos and Angel. We learned to depend on each other at a young age cause it’s not like we could depend on anyone else. That’s the fucked up part, not even being able to be a kid because there was no real adult around. Mom was too busy working, or shooting up to care what we were doing.

  Chaos and I thought out of all of us Angel would be the one to go to college and move out of town, doing some crazy talented thing that we were both too dumb to do, so when she turned to drugs as her coping mechanism it killed us. We’ve done everything we can, multiple rehab stints, even got her put in jail and sent to a halfway house directly after. Didn’t help though ‘cause those damn h
alfway houses have their own drug problem. One drugged up sister and her fate was sealed. It feels like no matter what we do there isn’t any way to save Angel from herself, no matter how much I try.

  I see Seamus walking up the hallway with Daisy directly beside him, carrying a small paper bag. I can smell it from here, and I know there’s gotta be somethin’ maple syrup up in that thing...is it bad that I’m hoping it’s for me and not Michelle? I feel a pang of guilt for hoping it’s for me.

  Daisy opens the bag and tosses me a sausage and cheese sandwich, wrapped up in a maple infused biscuit. I give her a grateful nod then watch as she goes into Kyle’s room. I hadn’t even realized that Michelle had went back and sat down.

  “Any change?” Seamus asks,

  “No. I think it’s too early to tell at this point. It’s all still really early.” It hasn’t even been more than a few hours at this point.

  “Well hopefully there’s a change soon. You know Reed’s gonna keep one of us on Kyle duty until he’s better and back at the club”

  “He might as well send Enzo,” I grumble, “Not like he’s gonna be much help in the fight hobbling around the way he is.”

  “True. It would make sense to keep Enzo here. I’ll mention it to Reed and see what he thinks about the idea”

  My phone buzzes in my pocket so I pull it out, expecting to see a text from Maria. Only it’s not Maria. It’s my buddy Chris, the one who knows about Angel’s habit. He’s a cop who’s helped me out on more than one occasion when it comes to her. Shit, I owe him a lot. If it wasn’t for his texts, there’s a couple times she would’ve died before I got her to the hospital.

  From: Chris

  I need you to meet me here. Prepare yourself.