Anguish Read online

  “I guess I should have warned you,” Ion said, placing the letter back down on the bar. “When I went to that meeting with the heads of the clans, they expressed that they feel my engagement to you should be voided. Your parents, namely your father, are dead, and so the contract is invalid. They think they all have the right to attempt to marry you and take the position as king of the mob for themselves.”

  I shook my head, unsure what to think of it. There were two sides to this. It could be a chance for me to finally have some kind of freedom of choice and to ensure the Vasile name was upheld. On the other hand, I knew that for the most part, it would be more greedy men going for a power grab. The older then man was, the more likely that was all it would be. And then my life wouldn’t be much better than with Jonas, and I would let my father down. Ion had been chosen for a reason, but I didn’t want there to be an uproar because I was not even willing to consider one of these men. After all, I still didn’t know Ion.

  “I think this is the first time I have seen you speechless,” Ion teased, making me scowl at him. He always had something smart-assy to say. It was one of the first things I had learned about Ion besides his cocky dominance.

  “Well, I honestly don’t know what to do or say. I can’t let the clans get even more chaotic because I won’t even consider this. I’m not ready to just accept some proposal from a man I don’t know, but I should do something. What do you think?” I asked, knowing I would probably regret it.

  Ion cracked up, laughing loudly. “Are you seriously asking for my opinion. You haven’t listened to a damn word I have said since I rescued you. I would love for you to do as I say, but I don’t see it happening any time soon,” he teased, making me cross my arms over my chest in annoyance. I wasn’t beyond slapping him, but I knew that I wouldn’t as soon as I saw Bianca come skipping into the room. There wasn’t going to be any violence in front of her anymore, not even harmless stuff.

  “Look, go ahead and go out with some of them. That is fine. Keep the peace. You will not choose any of them over me, I can guarantee it.” Ion was being a cocky ass, and I was ready to call a clan leader up for a date immediately just to piss him off.

  “If you need me, I will be in your office, setting up dates,” I said in a huff, leaving the room dramatically. The truth was, I kind of regretted agreeing to do it as I began going through the files on the clan leaders. Many of them were older men who I would want nothing to do with romantically. The younger ones I knew little about since I had been in isolation since the age of 16, and I had never paid too much attention since I was supposed to be with Ion. But I had to try. So, I decided to go with one of the youngest, the head of the clan in the northwest United Sates; Jan Constantin. From what I can remember, Jan had an older sister, she was almost two decades older than him, and she was killed when I was a child. The power of Clan Constantin would’ve been transferred over to her husband, but she did not have one, so at the young age of thirteen Jan held all of the power in Clan Constantin.

  I picked up the phone and dialed nervously, not sure how to approach this. I was surprised when Jan himself answered the phone rather than some servant or one of his clan members. “Jan Constantin,” he said. I could hear a bit of cockiness in his voice just as he spoke his name. It wasn’t like Ion, though. It was cheesy, like the kind you got from a high school football player. Then again, he was only a few years older than Ion.

  “This is Mariana Vasile,” I said.

  “Mariana? Wow, it is great to hear from you. I had hoped we would see you at the last meeting, but Ion let us know you were still in recovery from being shot. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. How can I help you today?” he asked, sounding more like a car salesman than the head of a mob clan. But somehow, it made me smile. He was laid back. He seemed normal.

  “I know that the clans have been questioning if Ion should still be engaged to me or if that is invalid since my parents are gone. I wanted to let you know that I have decided to consider dating some of the other clan leaders and then make an appropriate decision,” I said, trying to be diplomatic about it all.

  “So, basically, you are asking me on a date?” he asked, making me crack up. I just couldn’t avoid the reaction anymore. He was a character.

  “Yes, I guess I am,” I confessed, skipping the pretense.

  “I wholeheartedly accept Mariana Vasile. I will fly out to New York in a few days,” he said before hanging up. I shook my head, unsure of what this would mean for me. I never had any inclination to date or do any of the normal things young women did. That was stripped from me, even more, when my innocence was stolen by Jonas. But now it was like getting a second chance, and even if Ion won in the end, at least I would feel like I had a say. I would feel like some part of this was my decision, not a decision that was made for me.

  Coming off the high of the conversation with Jan, I thought to the letter I had received and knew that Phillipe also deserved to hear from me. He had sounded so courteous and kind in the letter, and I wanted to know if that was real or not. So, I picked up the phone once again, dialing out of the country. This time, I had to go through more than one secretary to reach Phillipe himself, but the mention of my name certainly got him on the line quick.

  “Mariana, it is such a pleasure to hear from you,” he said in his thick accent. It went right along with what I had read in the letter. I could hear him reading it in my head. “Have you received my letter?” he asked kindly, wanting an answer.

  “I did, and I thank you for it. I wanted to let you know that while I am not immediately accepting your proposal, I am taking into consideration the possibility of choosing another clan leader as my husband. I want to make sure whoever takes over is strong and right for my daughter and I, especially after what I have been through.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t be offended. He was obviously a powerful man, and I wasn’t looking to offend him.

  “I can fully respect that Miss Vasile. I am so glad that you have thought to contact me and let me know what is on your mind. I would be happy to take you out on some wonderful dates. I have a private jet and can easily get to you or bring you to me. When would you like to see me?” I was caught off guard by the question. I didn’t expect to be given so much control by these men.

  “As soon as you can get here.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Mariana

  Things had been tense since I had asked two of the other clan members out on dates. As Jan walked me to the door, I was curious as to what would be waiting for me when I got inside. Ion had been kind enough to watch Bianca while I was on the date, but I also thought there was a ploy there. He was trying to make himself look good.

  Jan stood over me, his muscular arm practically trapping me below it against the door. I knew this was the last time I was going to see this guy in any romantic way. He was too much of a meat head, but at least the date had been amusing. I also wasn’t about to let on to Ion that the date had failed. He wasn’t winning that easily. I just couldn’t stand the idea of giving in when he was so damn cocky.

  Jan was leaning in as if he might kiss me. I wondered if I should let it happen. I didn’t get the chance to decide as the door flew open, making me fall backwards. I had to be caught and put upright again by Ion, who I shot an annoyed glance at. He had to have been watching us through the peep hole. It was a little childish in my opinion.

  “Thank you for bringing her home, Jan,” Ion said, trying to dismiss him quickly. I shook my head at Ion, and it made a smirk broaden across Jan’s face.

  “No problem, Ion. I suppose I will will see the both of you soon,” Jan said, reaching out his hand to shake Ion’s. Ion did shake his hand, but I could tell the grip was a bit much by the way Jan’s face screwed up into a scowl. Finally, Ion slammed the door on him.

  “You will not be seeing either of us soon,” Ion stated with confidence. I wanted so badly to refute him and make him angry, but he could probably tell Jan and I did not hit it off. I tried to go for silence, stari
ng at Ion in some strange competition. He wasn’t buying it. “Don’t even try to tell me you have anything going with that man if you can call him that.”

  I sighed and rolled my eyes at Ion. “Fine, but you will see Phillipe again. He is going to take me on a second date in a few days,” I bragged, trying to hit him where it hurt. A second date was probably a big deal to Ion. It meant there was something there. I had been surprised by it, but the way Phillipe was so polite and attentive, and the way he wined and dined me, was incredibly charming. He was a hard man to resist, regardless of his age. And he wasn’t so bad looking. He just didn’t have the hint of darkness Ion did. He didn’t make me feel pressured at all, and for someone who had been through what I had, it meant a lot.

  “We will see about that,” Ion told me as if it were some kind of threat. I was ready to change the subject.

  “How is Bianca?” I asked, anxious to know how they got along.

  “Bianca is fine. She is upstairs, getting dressed for bed. She had dinner already, and we had a good time. Though, she missed you.” Any other time I would have melted at that statement, but I knew coming for Ion it was a complete manipulation.

  “Thank you,” I said, trying to avoid eye contact or any more conversation. I could feel myself being sucked in little by little, and I hated it. I headed to Bianca’s room to check in on her, but I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, watching the movement of my body.

  “I expect you in our bedroom when you’re done attending to Puff,” Ion said, I turned back to him, staring right into his dark eyes. He hadn’t made me share the bed with him since I came here, though I should have expected it sooner or later.

  “I’m sorry, what?” I said, trying to see if he would say the same thing or give up on the matter.

  “I told you, draga, you will be in our bed tonight.” I took one last glance at him and went into Bianca’s room, tending to her. She had requested two stories before she started to doze off and I happily complied. Her favorites have become the princess stories, where the knights in shining armor come to save their beloved. In a twisted way, maybe Ion is my knight. There’s one thing I know for sure, and that is that fairytales aren’t real.

  I walked back into the bedroom – my bedroom, which I suppose was now our bedroom. “She asked for two stories, or three?” Ion asked me; I glanced over at him, he was taking off his dress shirt. I couldn’t help but stare at him, the way his glorious body was exposed.

  “Two,” I told him, going to my drawers and grabbing a pajama set. I didn’t bother going out of the room to change out of my date attire. Ion had already seen my scars; I had nothing to hide from him. I slid my dress off until it pooled at my feet, slid on my silk shorts and pulled on a matching purple silk camisole. “Do you really think that the other clan heads are going to be happy to know that I’m sharing a bed with you when I’m dating some of them?” I asked, a tad annoyed at his sudden need to be sharing a bed with me.

  “Does it look like I give a shit? I don’t. They need to understand that while they are out on dates with you, my draga, that I am the one warming your bed, the one who will tend to your needs, the one who truly takes care of you and Puff” I took a step towards the bed as he spoke, ‘tend to your needs’ caught me off guard. Nothing sexual has happened between Ion and me besides that brief kiss. I wouldn’t lie to myself; I wanted to kiss him again. I craved his lips on mine, his hands on my body. I feel like deep down the dating of the other clan members was a horse and pony show. I had no real interest in any of them. Phillipe was promising, but Ion was something else entirely. In a split second, I’d made up my mind, I’d go out on one more date with Philippe as I promised him, but I would not go out on another. Not when I wanted to be here, with Ion.

  In truth, I didn’t know exactly what I felt for Ion. I just knew that it was so strong, what I felt for this cocky, arrogant man was nothing compared to the small like I had for Phillipe.

  I walked to my side of the bed, where Ion had slid in and stared. “I sleep here,” I told him, waiting for his argument. Instead, I didn’t get any. He got out of the bed, standing in front of me. He slid his hands around me and flipped me over, slamming my back against the mattress. “What are you doing?” I asked, startled by his sudden movement.

  “I’m kissing my wife goodnight.”

  “I’m not your wife” I angrily pointed out.

  His lips turned up into a smile as they pressed against mine, “Not yet, draga, but you will be” Ion’s lips were soft, his hands were rough around my body, his hand tangled in my hair and he pulled slightly. I thought the act would startle me; it only served to excite me. While his hands were rough exploring my body, his kiss was light and delicate. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders feeling him, his strength, his power. This is exactly what I mean; I don’t want to kiss Phillipe, or any other man as much as I want to kiss Ion. I opened wider, intruding my tongue in his mouth, meeting with his. He enhanced the intensity of our kiss; I could feel chills radiating all the way through my body.

  Ion yanked me up into his lap; I could feel his hardening shaft against my silk shorts. I rolled my hips against him; I wanted him. I’d never wanted sex before; it was always given to me if I could even call it that. “Fuck me, Ion.”

  He ripped his lips away from mine, staring me dead in the eyes. “Ana, I will not be fucking you tonight” I’d expected him to turn into a caveman and fuck me the way I wanted him to, to claim me in the last way he could, to go all alpha male and mark me as his. I didn’t expect him to deny me.

  “Why not?” I ask him

  “Why not? You haven’t ever had a good sexual experience. You were raped for years by that despicable animal. I’m not going to fuck you. When we’re together, my little draga, I will be making love to you, and that will not be tonight. God, I want you so badly, but now is not the time. I will take you when you are ready for me. We’ve been together for two weeks. We have an eternity, love” I was pissed. How dare he deny me what I ask of him. In a way, a small, miniscule way, I find it sweet that he denies me, that he believes he’s somehow protecting me. In a big way, I find it extremely irritating, and I want to slap him. He brushed his thumb against my cheek and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. “All in time, now, let’s get to sleep, yes?”

  I didn’t respond, Ion just took control, positioning me, so I was up against him, his body pressed up against my back, his arms draped around me. For the first time in years, I can say that I feel safe. I’ll never know why my father chose Ion, but somehow, I’m starting to figure out why.

  “Goodnight” he murmured into the back of my hair.

  “Night.”

  ***

  Phillipe came just a few days later. This time, instead of taking me on a jet, we stayed closer to home. He knew of a restaurant that was romantic and known for its huge dancefloor and VIP seating. I felt a buzz go through me at the idea of being on a fancy date with a man like that. Phillipe had a way of making a woman feel special, even if he couldn’t make me feel the way that Ion did. This date was the last one. I was going to tell him at the end of the date that I wouldn’t be seeing him any longer. He was a great man, just not the man I envisioned to be in my future. His eyes would stay on you the whole night, and he would brag about you to the wait staff. It was something totally different than anything I had experienced. I wondered what all these Sala clan members did with their spare time and money. They had to be some fun people to hang out with. Or maybe they were all snobs.

  The restaurant was superb; the kind that only served the best bottles of wine and with golden chandeliers making a spotlight over the tables and dancefloor. It was a little crowded, but I could see why. It was probably a hot spot for rich couples, and I found myself wondering if it was a place Ion had ever thought of bringing me. I shouldn’t have been thinking about Ion on a date with another man, but I supposed it was difficult when we were still technically engaged and living in the same house, and the fact that I couldn’t stop
thinking about Ion. That was the problem, he’s infected all of my thoughts, and now I’m sitting here on a date with Phillipe thinking about the way Ion kissed me just a few days before, and the way he would leave a small peck on my lips in passing.

  Phillipe reached across the table and placed his hand on mine affectionately; it took me out of my daydreaming thoughts of Ion. Phillipe did things like that often even though we technically didn’t know each other. It felt like he actually meant the things he said and that he might like me. But if I was honest with myself, I liked the lifestyle more than I liked him. He was a bit much sometimes, spending so much money at the drop of a hat and quoting famous poems I didn’t recognize. The sad part was, none of it was fake. Or at least, I didn’t detect that it was.

  “I am so happy you are here with me tonight,” he said. Phillipe could easily make any woman swoon and compare their time with him to a fairytale, but there was something missing that I just couldn’t place. Maybe something was wrong with me because of Jonas, and I was incapable of developing feelings for a good man. Ion isn’t a good man. I know that. I’m not naïve. Although, he may be good for me. I still don’t know him, I’m learning, but I know he keeps secrets. Ion isn’t a horrid man; he’s a product of the cloth he was cut from, as am I.

  “Would you like to dance?” I asked him, our gazes meeting. I was trying to pass the time as quickly as possible. I just wanted to get back home. A jazz number was being played, and few other couples were making their way to the dancefloor after finishing their tapas. The light was the perfect low glow, and Phillipe nodded, leading me gracefully and flawlessly out onto the floor.

  I was surprised as my body responded to the rhythm. I danced as a child, but with all my injuries and the fact that I had done nothing of the sort in over eight years, made me worry that I wouldn’t be able to do these things anymore. Yet, I was swaying with him to the music. It was a silent dance, but it was nice; the kind you might have with someone you had been with for a long time – the kind I should be having with Ion.