Dangerous Love (Mackenzies Book 3) Read online

  “Please don’t chastise me for how I’m dealing with this.” I don’t mean for my words to come out as a warning, but I can’t help it.

  “She’s in shock. Anyone would need a good, hard drink.” Greer jumps to my defense, and our mother nods at her words. Mom takes a seat at the couch to the left, beside Caprice, while Greer pops a squat next to me.

  A few moments of silence pass us by before Greer clears her throat and looks into my eyes. “How are you feeling right now?”

  God, what a question. It should be easy for me to reply. I should say shocked, grateful, or there should be something that comes to mind. The only thing I can think of is this. “Terrified. I’m fucking terrified.”

  Greer nods in understanding, but how can she? Neither she nor Aleks have ever been through something like this. The only one who can possibly understand me in the slightest is my father, and the love of his life was in a coma. It’s a completely different circumstance, but the loss he felt is the only way we could compare notes. Sure, my mom wasn’t dead, but he never knew if she was going to wake up. The prognosis wasn’t positive, and it’s by the grace of God she did awaken.

  “There’s no need to be afraid, but I know you. You already know it. You’re only terrified because of what this means, being with Keeran and all,” Greer tells me, and our mother nods while Caprice frowns.

  I rise from the couch and go pour myself another drink. Standing at the wet bar, I take a swig back and look at the group of women. “I’ve had the rug that is my life pulled out from under me. Wouldn’t you consider it a bit scary?”

  “Why yes, I’d say so, but isn’t this a blessing in disguise? You loved him so much, and now he’s back,” my mother comments with a bright smile.

  “I’m not saying it isn’t. All I’m saying is that . . . fuck, I don’t know, this is just so much. So much to take in. I don’t know how to explain any of it right now,” I mutter, running a hand through my long locks. I take a sip and think about what this all means.

  “This is obviously a huge shock to you, and that’s alright. It’s more than understanding you’d be feeling a plethora of emotions right now. Just know whatever happens, however you feel about the situation, and whatever your choices will be . . . we’re going to support you, Sloane. We’re your family and the only thing we’ll ever want is your happiness.” I love Caprice so much and I’ll forever be grateful she’s who my brother married. I’ve met some horrible mafia wives over the years. Some have been stuck-up broads, while others have been complete nightmares.

  I’m hardly the crying type, but tears threaten to fall, and as visions of Keeran come across my mind, I lose it. I never wanted to fall out of love with him. I never wanted any of what’s been happening between us. The reality is I’ve only kept him close because of how he is to my girls. He treats them like they’re his own and he lights up their world. But now, I’m facing a different obstacle. Their father is back, a man I loved more than I ever admitted to anyone. The same man who was ripped from my life. Now I have the chance to reclaim the love we lost, the same love that was taken from us. I can’t miss this opportunity. I need to let Keeran know my true feelings, and I have to do it sooner rather than later.

  “Oh, Sloane.” Greer’s voice drops, and before I know it, her arms are wrapping around me.

  She’s trying to comfort me right now, but little does she know what’s plaguing my mind.

  “You’re worried about Keeran, aren’t you, darling?” my mother asks, and I break away from my sister’s embrace. Sucking in a breath through my mouth, I give her a curt nod.

  “Our relationship’s been dwindling for months now, but I’ve put a brave face on for the girls. They matter more than my own happiness, so I was . . .” I stop speaking, knowing it’ll sound horrible in whatever way I say it.

  “You were keeping him around to be a father to the girls. The only one you thought they might ever have,” Caprice states, filling in the blanks.

  Neither my mother nor sister give me any indication they’re shocked, so I cock a brow. “You two are awfully quiet.”

  “Yeah, Luca gave us the whole ring fiasco details,” Greer fills me in.

  “You’re joking,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. He’s worse than the girls I went to high school with, spreading someone else’s personal business around.

  “He was only seeking advice, sweetheart. Nothing to fret about.” Mom sticks up for my cousin, but all I can do is roll my eyes again.

  “You’ll end things with him then?” Greer questions me.

  I shrug my shoulders. “Time’s long past since I have, don’t you think?”

  “Good, put him out of his misery,” Caprice states.

  “It’ll be better if you let him go sooner rather than later. He’ll only grow more attached,” Mom agrees.

  Silence takes over us and I have another sip of tequila, knowing what I’ll be doing is going to completely destroy him. Keeran is an amazing man. He just isn’t the man for me. I wish he was, but he isn’t.

  “Do you need me to be there with you?” Most would find Greer’s question odd, but I don’t. She’s my twin, and we’ve gone through so many things together. Only other twins would understand the meaning behind her question, but still, I decline.

  “No, this is something I need to do alone. I need to do this tonight, get it over with . . . before things . . .”

  “Before you smash uglies with Aleksei again?” Greer quips, and Caprice breaks out into laughter.

  “No, not—fuck. Before . . . I don’t know, before things change. You know he’s going to propose, and I don’t want it to get to that. I want to let the man down easy, so he doesn’t get that far. If he ends up asking me, it’ll only make things so much worse, and the situation is bad enough, don’t you think?”

  All of the women give me a nod, silently answering my question. I know things won’t be easy, but I pray this won’t go down the worst way it can. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but deep down, I know I’ll destroy him. I just pray one day Keeran will forgive me for what I’m about to do.

  Chapter Eight

  Aleksei

  I sit back in the chair and wait for one of the other men to speak. The women have been away for a few minutes now, and I think we’re all trying to figure out where to take the conversation. Sure, I’ve given them a rundown of what’s happened to me since I’ve been away, but there’s much more to discuss and even more to work through.

  Desmond sits back on the light blue couch and looks right at me. He’s drawing his brows together and looks over to Liam, who doesn’t yet speak. Desmond clears his throat, breaking the silence in the room. It appears the Mackenzie family patriarch will be leading this much-anticipated discussion.

  “I think you know we’re all grateful you’re alive and well. I can speak for everyone here when I say this isn’t something we expected, but we’re glad. Not only am I happy for you both to be reunited as brothers again, but for my daughter and granddaughters as well. When Sloane lost you . . . we all thought we were losing her.” Desmond’s words shock me. What does he mean by what he’s said?

  “I’d appreciate it if someone could fill me in on what I’m missing,” I state, looking mainly at Desmond and Liam. If anyone’s going to tell me what happened, it will be them.

  Desmond clears his throat again, but Liam cuts in, “Sloane took your ‘death’ hard. She was depressed, angry, sad, and so much more. Everything was understandable, given the events that had transpired. There were a few times after the girls were born where she tried to . . .” Liam’s words fall short, so I glance over to Desmond. A somber expression takes over his face, and so I look to my brother.

  Aleks is very quiet. In fact, the entire room is.

  For a few moments, I don’t say a word. I allow the silence to continue, but after a while, I can’t bear it any longer.

  “For fuck’s sake, someone spit it out,” I grit.

  “Sloane tried to kill herself, Aleksei.” Luca’s the
one to bear something I never thought I’d ever heard. Sloane, who I’ve always believed is relentless and stronger than any other woman I’ve known, tried to end her own life.

  “W-when?” My first thought comes stammering out.

  Luca stares at me as if he’s debating on whether or not to say anymore.

  “I asked a question and I expect an answer,” I snarl, now looking at the group of men.

  “After the girls were born. She told me she . . . she wasn’t going to do it while she was pregnant, how they deserved to live, but she didn’t feel she should,” Luca tells me the rest.

  “Fuck.” I run a hand over my face, hating the way she must’ve felt. Sucking in a deep breath through my nose, I take my hand away and look at Aleksandr and then Luca. “Was it the only time she had these thoughts?”

  “No,” they both state at the same time.

  I swallow hard and know I’ll have to do what I can to make things easier on her. “When was the last time she . . . she gave any indication she felt this way?”

  “Earlier this year, but I got her in to see a phenomenal doctor.” Liam’s now speaking up. I’m sure he sent her to the best. He’d be the type.

  “Is anyone else not in shock? I mean, this feels like a dream,” my brother states out of nowhere. Everyone looks at Aleks and nods in understanding.

  “I can assure you this isn’t a dream. I’m very much here, brat. I wish none of this happened. I pray I could take every bit of pain she felt away, how I could know my daughters in the way you all know your children. This is a nightmare, brat, but this nightmare is my life. It is not one I will wake up from. I wish I could,” I tell them all.

  “Things will improve in due time,” Desmond comments.

  I hope he’s right, but the fact is I won’t know. Memories of Sloane pulling the blond man off to the side plague my mind, and if I don’t ask now, I won’t. “Is she seeing someone?” I mean, I’m not an idiot. She’s a beautiful woman and her greatest fear has always been being alone.

  No one wants to look me in the eyes right now. Silence fills the room, so I speak up again, “I saw the man from earlier, the blond one with the tattoos.”

  Liam’s eyes meet my own, and then he looks around to the rest of the men. No one wants to tell me what I already know to be true in my heart. “Yes, she’s been dating Keeran for a while.”

  “He’s the blond?” I question.

  Liam gives a curt nod, and I know all I need to.

  “How long?”

  Liam’s expression shifts, and I can tell he doesn’t want to give me more information, but he will. He’s always been very respectful. If someone asks, he will tell.

  “About two years now, but I don’t think it’s serious on her end. He’s great with the girls, but other than that, it’s . . . er, I don’t think he makes her happy.” Liam’s words should make me feel better but only serve to make things worse. This man knows my children better than I do, and I have no doubt about it.

  I’ve been replaced. That is what’s happened.

  “If my father is dead, it means Maxim is in charge of things,” Aleksandr speaks up with a gruff tone, and every man looks at him. His words are correct, and if Maxim is now in charge, things will only grow worse.

  “We will only know with time,” Liam tells him.

  Aleks nods, but he stares at Liam. “If we discover he is leading the Bratva now, I must get my sisters out of his grasp. He is vile, worse than my father in some ways. Ivanna, Darya, and Tamara need not be with him. It’s not safe for them.”

  “If Maxim is leading the Bratva, Aleksandr, rest assured we will get your sisters to safety,” Liam promises. Meanwhile, I sit further back in my seat and reflect on what this all means.

  I’m home, but I’m not sure if I’m welcome by everyone here.

  Chapter Nine

  Sloane

  “Mumma!” Stassi, short for Anastassia, comes up to me and tugs on my pants. Behind her is her sister, Drina, short for Aleksandrina, and Keeran.

  “What is it, my little love?” I crouch down and look into her ice-blue eyes.

  “Keeran took us for ice cream, and then we went to the park, and then he took us by the barn, and we got to pet the horses!” Stassi exclaims with the biggest smile on her face. We have a barn here on the property where we have shire horses, Connemara ponies, as well as Irish cob and draughts. The girls have recently expressed some interest in going to see the horses much more often, and I’m all about letting them have the happiest of experiences.

  “Yeah, and there’s a baby pony!” Drina comes running up.

  “I got to touch the baby,” Stassi brags.

  “Yeah, and if Keeran didn’t scoop you up, you would’ve been kicked too. Isn’t that right, Keeran?” Drina turns around with all the sass in the world and looks back at Keeran, whose almond eyes stare me down. He doesn’t act with emotion, just simple movements as he normally does when he’s working. He isn’t acting like a boyfriend right now, though I’m sure he knows things will be changing.

  I wonder if he felt it before Aleksei showed up out of the blue or if he thinks it’s solely because of Leks. God, Leks. I haven’t thought of his nickname in so long. It’s a bit hard to believe I’m even thinking about it right now. He’s here. He’s really back in the flesh.

  “Anastassia,” I state her name with the utmost seriousness, and she whips her tight obsidian curls around and looks directly into my eyes.

  “Yes, Mummy?” Oh, the sass from this one. She’s acting as if she hasn’t done anything wrong.

  “You have one opportunity to tell me what happened at the barn, so don’t you dare fib.” I keep my eyes focused on hers and wait for my rebellious rule-breaker to tell me what she did. Her stoic expression falters a tad and she looks over to her sister and then to Keeran. If she wants them to help her out of this one, it won’t be happening.

  “I may have gone into the stall without permission.”

  Immediately I’m clenching my jaw. I know she’s only six, but she knows better. She knows she has to ask for permission, how farm animals are dangerous. Still, I’m going to try not to be so frustrated as I speak to her.

  I grab onto her hands and look into her eyes. “I know you were excited to see the baby, but you can’t do that ever again. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt today, sweetheart. If it was a shire horse, it could’ve killed you if Keeran didn’t get you out of the way. Do you realize how serious this is?”

  Stassilooks down at the ground and pouts. “All I was trying to do was see the baby.”

  “I’m well aware of your reasoning, but, Stassi, you can’t ever do that again. If you want to get closer and see a baby, you ask Keeran, me, or one of the stable hands. You don’t ever walk up to an animal who doesn’t know you, especially one that has a baby. Us mummies can be quite protective of our little ones.” I smile at the last bit and run my fingers along the top of her curly mop. “Come ‘ere,” I wave Drinaover, and she comes into my embrace. I simply hold onto my two little girls a bit tighter, hating how much they’re growing before my very eyes.

  “Sloane, I’m going to take Doran and Kellan out for a day of fun. Would the girls like to join us?” Greer asks as she approaches. Doran is her son, and Kellan is our nephew.

  They just had ice cream, but I don’t see why not. It would be good to get them out of the house for a bit while I handle things with Keeran.

  “Sure, when are you leaving?” I question her.

  “Mmm, maybe an hour or so. The boys are playing out back, so go on and join them.” Greer waves her hands, and the girls look at me for approval. I give them a nod and before I know it, they’re running down the corridor, and Greer is following them. From the corner of my eye, I spot my mother and sister-in-law walking out back, giving Keeran and me some much-needed privacy.

  The door to the study opens, and out comes my brother. Behind him is my dad, Aleks, Luca, and then Aleksei. “Want to go grab some food?” Aleks turns to Aleksei and asks him.


  “We could go to Maeve’s. I’m sure you’re itching for a good shepherd’s pie,” Liam chimes in, talking about going to our family’s restaurant.

  The entire time my eyes are fixated on Aleksei. It’s almost like I think this is a dream, and at any given moment, I’ll awaken. If I’m being honest, I’m not convinced this isn’t a dream yet.

  Aleksei’s eyes fall on mine before he looks back to his brother. “Da, let’s get food. It’s been an eventful day so far, and we all need our energy.” He rips his gaze away from mine, and Aleks and Liam take him down the hallway, walking toward the side entrance into the house. Still, I can’t stop staring at him. Part of me is terrified he won’t come back, that he’ll vanish as only a figment of my imagination. God, I hope he’s not fake. I pray I’m not dreaming.

  My dad looks at me for a moment before walking down the hall toward the sounds of playing children.

  I take in a heavy breath and turn, looking at Keeran, knowing exactly what I need to do. But before I can say a word, he’s gone out the front door, leaving me alone with Luca.

  “You alright?” he questions with a cocked brow.

  “No, but any sane woman wouldn’t be right now. I’m a wreck, Luca, but I need to go out there and talk to him. There’s so much left to be said.” Instead of waiting for my cousin’s response, I go out the front door. The moment it shuts behind me, I turn my head, searching for Keeran.

  I find him sitting on an old porcelain bench that’s been here on the property for many generations. It sits under an old oak tree that’s been here since the estate was built by my great-great grandfather’s workers.

  Approaching it slowly, I debate ways on how I can make this easier on him. The fact of the matter is this won’t make things better. Nothing can. We’re in an unimaginable situation, something no one could’ve ever prepared for.