Hammer (Reapers Rejects MC Book 18) Read online

  “He pissed me off, and he shouldn’t be hiding shit from her anyway.” Hammer picks up his glass and takes another swig of the whiskey.

  “It wasn’t your place to tell her. Zorro should’ve been the one doing that, and you look like a giant asshole. Do you have any idea what you did? You hurt Ruby, Hammer. You hurt her and she has nothing to do with the pissing contest between the two of you.” God, he’s totally ignorant to what his actions caused.

  Hammer rolls his eyes and sets the glass back down on the bar. “Look, I don’t know why you’re coming up to me and acting like this anyway.”

  I grab what’s left of his whiskey and pour it straight over his head. “You’re not the man I thought you were, and I’m damn sure of it.”

  I start to head for the door and the crowd of patrons go, “Oooooo.”

  My hand’s on the door pulling it open and Hammer grabs onto my other hand, trying to turn me around. I look right at him with anger lacing through my eyes, ready to set his fucking world on fire. My entire life, men have hurt me more than helped me. “What is that supposed to mean? I thought we were workin’ toward somethin’ here.”

  I shake my head. “We were, but you’re sorely mistaken if you think we’re going to have anything now. This shit . . . it’s shown me a part of you I don’t want to ever see again. I thought you were better than that, Hammer, but obviously, I was wrong.” I keep my emotions in check as much as I can, yank my hand from his arm and walk out of the bar. I walk until the end of the block before the tears start pouring out of my eyes in an effortless flow. I’m fucked and I know it.

  I may have acted like I don’t give a damn like I’m this strong woman who can handle this, but the reality is that I’m not.

  I’m a woman who was starting to fall in love with him and walking away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

  Chapter One

  To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already 3-parts dead

  ~ Bertrand Russell

  Hammer

  Present Day . . .

  Ma said the sink was leaking, so I got under the island in the kitchen and took a look at it. She’s right. It sure was leaking, so I tightened the elbow to the drainpipe. I’m not a plumber, but I already did contact one and they’ll be here tomorrow to take a look. At least this will have it fixed until they can come out and take a look at it.

  My phone rings on top of the island, so I grab it and press it to my ear. “What’s up?”

  “I convinced mom to come home for a couple hours and take a shower, get some time away from the hospital and all that. You’re still there working on the sink, right?” Jada, my little sister, says on the other end of the line.

  God, she hasn’t left the hospital in almost a week now. I didn’t think she was ever going to come back to the house at this point. “Yeah, I called a plumber. He’ll be here tomorrow, but I’ve got the thing tightened up so it won’t leak.”

  “Okay, thank you. I know I’ve inconvenienced you enough, but can you stay and hang out with Mom for a bit? Someone needs to stay here and the last thing I want to do is leave dad by himself.”

  “Sure, it’s no problem. I’ll just call Zane and check in with him.”

  “Thank you so much. I owe you one,” Jada says to me, but she doesn’t owe me shit. We’re doing what we need to to get through everything right now. No one prepares you for a parent being sick, especially not like this.

  “Don’t say that shit to me. You know I’m here for whatever they need. Now, go back and tend to dad. I’ll handle mom when she gets here,” I tell my sister and we quickly say our goodbyes, but as soon as we hang up, I’m already dialing Zane’s number and he answers on the third ring.

  “Hey, brother. How are you?” Zane immediately questions me, though he sounds a bit concerned based on his tone.

  “I’m alright, but I won’t be back to the club for a while. Jada talked mom into coming home and asked me to stay with her so she’s not alone. She’s been so focused on dad and is barely taking care of herself.

  “Shit, do what you need to do. Things are settled here, so don’t worry about a thing. How’s your dad doing?”

  I inhale deeply through my nose, “The triple bypass has been hard on him. He keeps getting secondary infections. One after another. It makes me wonder . . . fuck, just makes me wonder if he’s going to make it through this man.”

  “Don’t talk like that. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You’re not the big dude upstairs, so breathe. Take it one day at a time.” I’ve known Zane for a long time now and he’s never been the type for motivational moments. He’s the blunt type, the guy who’s gonna shoot it to you straight. But for right now, I’m glad he isn’t, ‘cause I don’t know how the fuck I’m gonna keep my ma together if dad takes another turn for the worse.

  “Thanks, brother. I’ll text you and let you know what’s going on soon, but I’m gonna get some stuff done around the house for ma. I saw one of her light bulbs needs changing, so it’s the least I can do.”

  Zane and I say our goodbyes and I head into the bathroom and change the light that I saw was out earlier when I arrived. After I fix the light, I check her clocks and make sure none of them need to have their batteries changed. My mother, god love her, is super old-fashioned. She has one of those old lady telephones that flip and doesn’t like any of this new fancy technology around. I end up finding a clock that needs its batteries changed, so I replace those and as soon as I’m hanging it back up, she comes through the door.

  “My goodness, what’re you doing here?” My ma comes rushing over to me, narrowing her eyes like she didn’t expect me to be here. She should know better, though. Jada is the resident worry wart of the family.

  “Nothin’, Ma. Just fixing a few things around the house. I replaced a lightbulb and some batteries in that one white clock down the hallway, and I tightened the pipe in your sink in the kitchen island. A plumber will be here tomorrow, but I’ll make sure I’m here or one of the prospects from the club.”

  She puffs out her bottom lip. “Thank you, sweetheart. You’re surely a good one, always watchin’ out for your Ma.”

  “Damn straight. I’m gonna keep goin’ around the property and house. I want to see if there’s anything else that needs my attention.”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do when you leave,” her words come out of nowhere and my eyes go wide as the reality of what she’s just said hits me.

  “I’m not leavin’ to go to Los Angeles for a bit, Ma. We still have time.”

  “Not enough time. You’re not a mother. You don’t understand. It’s your worst fear when your child leaves. I thought the NFL was going to take you far away from me, but it’s the Reapers Rejects.” My mom glances down at the ground and starts to get a bit upset.

  “I’ll only be a phone call or a plane ride away. There’s no reason to be getting upset. I’m always going to be here. No matter what.”

  My mom smiles and nods before making her way to her master bedroom. I know she isn’t happy I’m leaving to go to Los Angeles, but Inc is our regent here at the club, and now I’ll be going down to their club to be the regent for the Reapers Rejects MC. The most important thing other than our safety is ensuring our alliances are flourishing, even if it means sacrificing some of what we want to do.

  The club gave me a new life, and I’m happy to help in whatever way I can.

  Chapter Two

  You have a place in my heart no one else could ever have

  ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Shiloh

  “Shiloh, are you busy today by chance?” Ashley’s voice comes up from behind me and I turn to see the blonde-haired woman with a hand supporting her back as she cranes her big belly around. She’s five days overdue and this kid is really giving her hell. She says it’s her last, but knowing her and Blackjack, I seriously doubt it.

  I pull the black hair tie off my wrist and pull my sandy blonde hair into a high ponytail. “Not
anything specific. What’s up?”

  “If you have time, I’d really appreciate it if you could go over to Tart. I was supposed to, but I’m exhausted and this baby is revolting against me.” Ashley grimaces and her uncomfortableness can be seen very easily. She shouldn’t even be going out right now and doing this sort of stuff. The woman is literally ready to pop at any given moment.

  “Oh my gosh, of course. What were you going to do today?” Whatever she needs doing, I’ll do, but I’d be lying if I said I’m hoping it isn’t something too strenuous.

  “A bit of painting to freshen up the place and then we’re giving it another good clean today before we put out the new décor,” Ashley tells me. I’m a bit surprised we’re updating the décor at all. It wasn’t awful before and it’s not like the place is new either. It had some renovations a few years back that really put it in this era, but I get the club wants to put their own flare on everything.

  “Okay, no problem. Is there anything else you need?” The woman is so worn down and I’ve known Ashley for a very long time. She’s the type who constantly puts more on her plate and rarely asks for help, one of those women who want to do it all. While I can’t blame her for it, she needs to ask for help when she’s drowning. I’m not one to speak, though. I’m guilty of the same thing.

  “Actually, yeah, I’m really behind on ordering some of the new silverware, plates, mugs, all of it. We’re trying to keep its Billings charm, but we want to make sure we have some Tart merchandise in there as well, small, subtle flashes of the name on the side of mugs and glasses. I haven’t gotten around to it, so if you’re willing to look at some different options and make some decisions, I’d freaking love that.” Ashley hands me a credit card for the club, “Just put it on the card and have it shipped to the store. We re-open the place shortly, so get the quickest shipping, please.”

  “No problem.”

  “Oh, and can you order some shirts for Tart, please? We’re going to have the girls wear them while they’re working. I’d say get about twenty shirts in various sizes. In addition to who’s worked there before, Syd is going to work at Tart as well.”

  “Holy crap, it’s her first real job, right?” Syd is Zane’s adoptive daughter, but her story’s a bit complicated. Her biological father was a biker named Tank, who was murdered when she was a small child, and her biological mother was a clubwhore like I used to be. Her name was Saffron and she was one of the sweetest women I ever had the pleasure of knowing. Her mother was low-key dating the old Prez, Fist, who was Zane’s dad. Long story short, both Saffron and Fist died, leaving Syd without anyone to care for her. Ashley stepped up for a while, but Zane officially adopted Syd a couple years ago. It made sense given the fact everyone here at the club is family and we’d die for one another.

  Ashley nods proudly. “It sure is, and I’m amazed at her. Even with keeping her grades up and her sports, she still wants to work. I told her she’s only getting a four-hour shift on Sunday mornings and a four-hour shift after school on Tuesdays, but she’s not complaining. I don’t want to overwork her.”

  “Yeah, she doesn’t need to run herself into the ground,” I comment.

  “Ashley, what the hell are you doing on your feet?” Blackjack’s voice echoes through the clubhouse and I cackle to myself. He’s always so protective of her and the man treats her like a queen.

  Ashley turns to look back at me for a second. “I’d better get going, but thank you so much for your help.”

  “No thanks needed. You go take it easy.”

  “Fuck that, I’m about to have him drag me into town for some spicy wings. Anything to get this thing out of me,” Ashley groans, causing me to laugh even louder.

  I start to walk away, but Hammer comes straight in through the clubhouse doors and our eyes lock on one another’s for a moment. “Hammer, come here. I need to talk to you for a sec,” Blackjack speaks up and Ashley stops walking over to him.

  She turns around and faces me. “We might as well go sit down, ‘cause those two can flap jaws more than any women I know.”

  The two of us walk over to the booth and as we both take a seat, Ashley keeps her eyes locked on me. “What’s going on between the two of you? It’s like you’ve been avoiding each other lately.”

  Inhaling deeply, I debate on answering her honestly, but instead I lie, because the last thing I want to do is cause more issues here. “Nothing, we just haven’t hung out a lot lately. I think he’s really focused on getting down to Los Angeles.”

  Ashley nods in understanding at my words and I’m pretty sure she won’t dig anymore. It’s a bullshit response from me, but I don’t want to think about how much I will miss him.

  Dammit, I already am.

  I pull my phone out from the back pocket of my jeans and ask Ashley where she wanted me to order the stuff from. I only hope keeping busy can distract me from everything I’m feeling right now.

  Chapter Three

  Never be a prisoner to the past

  ~ Unknown

  Hammer

  “You wanted to chat?” I question Blackjack after he called me over a few moments ago. There’s been nothing but silence between us, which only tells me there’s something going on in that head of his.

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, wanted to check in and see how your pops is doing.”

  Fuck. I wish he didn’t have to ask me this. I feel like I’m the only person keeping shit together in my family. My mom and sister are barely holding it together, and while my sister’s doing better than my mom, it doesn’t mean she isn’t freaking out too. Jada just has her own way of keeping things to herself when she’s upset.

  “He got another infection from the grafting. The doctors keep saying it’s very rare, how it doesn’t happen to many people, but it is possible for it to happen.”

  Blackjack was a medic back in the Army over a decade ago. He’s familiar with a lot of medical shit, so I don’t have to explain myself. “I’m sorry, brother. How’s your mom and sister holding up?”

  Now I’m the one shrugging. It’s like I don’t know what to say anymore, but what else can I say? The situation sucks and I have no control over this shit. Not one ounce of it. If I did, I’d trade spots with my dad in no time.

  “They’re doing the best they can, given the circumstances.”

  “I’m sure. If you need anything, and I mean anything, you let me or Zane know. We’ll do whatever we can to make sure you and your family are taken care of.”

  Since he’s bringing it up, I’m just gonna tell him what I’ll need. “When I go off to Los Angeles, I’m going to need you to check in on them, make sure they’re doing alright.”

  Blackjack shoots me a concerned glance. “You sure you’re still up to going? There’s a lot happening on the home front for you.”

  I know what he’s trying to say, but I need to keep on my path. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that you can’t ever expect anything. I’m not gonna let this hold me back, ‘cause I have obligations to the club. Obligations I can’t just walk away from.

  After I got hurt and my dreams of being a superstar NFL player were shattered, Zane asked if I wanted to prospect for the club. When he did, it gave me a sense of purpose I wasn’t able to find anywhere else.

  “I’m going to Los Angeles, VP. As crude as this might sound, I’m still going regardless of what happens here.”

  Blackjack gives me a nod in understanding. “Alright, just wanted to offer you a way out. But while I have you, I noticed somethin’ the other day. You and Shiloh been taking time apart or something?”

  “We’d need to be in a relationship to take a break, wouldn’t we?” I add a bit of laughter, so the mood isn’t too serious. Shiloh and I never said we were shit, but there were a few times I felt like we were.

  Blackjack chuckles lightly and nods his head. “True, just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You’ve been going through a lot of shit.”

  “I’m good man, but thanks.”<
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  I start to walk away, but Blackjack clears his throat from behind me, causing me to turn around. “Take it from someone who’s been there, don’t let something good slip between your fingers. I almost lost Ash, and I’m here thanking God I didn’t.”

  I glance over to Ashley and see her at a booth with Shiloh sitting across from her. The way she smiles makes my heart swell, and I miss her laughing at my stupid ass jokes. I miss the way we’d Netflix and chill down here in the club, and while it never got far enough to have anything sexy happen, I do wish it did. I crave her more than I care to admit, and maybe, just maybe, I need to work on fixing this shit between us.

  “He’s right, you know,” Zorro pipes up, coming from behind me.

  “Didn’t realize you were eavesdropping,” I mutter. Zorro and I butt heads a bit and we’re never usually on good terms, so him listening to my conversation with Blackjack doesn’t sit well with me.

  “I wasn’t, but I walked up on the latter part of it. If I never would’ve made a move with Ruby, then I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. And look, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but that shit’s in the past. Don’t let a woman slip through your fingers, not when she’s one of the good ones.” Zorro was in a relationship with Shiloh when she was a clubwhore a few years back. If anyone knows her character and what type of woman she is, it’d be him.

  Crazy how her ex is the one telling me what type of woman she is. I know it all too well. It’s not like we never hung out together.

  There’s just one issue. I’m moving to Los Angeles soon, and if I get close to her again, I could break both of our hearts. I don’t wanna hurt her, but I need to make this right. I need to have her in my life again.