Anguish Read online

  Where my daughter and I stayed was set up like a dingy, cold apartment. Something I was given following the birth of Bianca. We shared that place together, and that was where she spent most of her days unless Jonas left the house. I refused to let her cross his sight most of the time, still afraid after all these years he would hurt her or take her from me. I wouldn’t put it past him; he’s a special type of monster, the vilest of men.

  I took a few deep breaths before righting myself, standing up and looking over at the smaller mattress that had been taken out of Bianca’s crib over a year ago and set down on the floor next to mine. Sometimes she would still end up in my bed, and those were the hardest mornings to get up without waking her. I tried my best to make it so that she didn’t know or understand why I left her each morning and closed the door behind me, heading out into the main part of the residence, which was in better repair than where I was made to stay. It wasn’t shocking that Jonas had made sure he had the best of the best, I thought that maybe one day he’d fix up our small dingy apartment, but he never did. He wanted to keep the hanging threat that I was his prisoner over my head.

  I went into the sad bathroom and began my morning routine, only maintained for the sake of keeping both Bianca and me alive and safe. Most mornings, I did not feel like brushing my hair and teeth. I did not feel like doing my makeup to perfection with the cheap products provided for me, only for the sake of my captor’s pleasure. I did not feel like putting on one of the silky gowns Jonas liked to see me wear whether he was torturing me or having sex with me. But I did it all anyway, all before my Bianca woke up to find me gone.

  I had plotted for the first few years to find a way to get out because I could tell from Jonas’ conversations that a new heir had never been named for the mob clans. It sounded like the clans were a mess without the Vasile family to run it, and they would’ve been. The entire infrastructure within the Romanian mob depended on my bloodline – the Vasile bloodline. We weren’t like the Russians, Italians or Irish – we are unique. My blood has importance, but I was never allowed to rule because I’m a woman, my husband would be gifted the power over, and the remaining clans would serve as a board, each controlling their own region. We would only interfere when necessary, and the clans would have the power of the entire mob behind them. We are structured, unified and efficient. Up until the time I was sixteen my father taught me everything I know. He never wanted me to be the type of woman who sat next to her husband and let his opinions and ways fly. He wanted me to have a say – even if I didn’t look in the eyes of the clans. I did have a say. I often wonder why Jonas did it, what is his angle in all of this. Jonas had killed my whole family and taken me as a toy, and this whole time he had not seemed to make the necessary move to claim the throne. It was sickening, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about ending it all before. But one look at the miniature version of myself, and I knew I had to live for her sake even if that damned me to hell.

  Feeling like a trained dog, I ignored the new me in the mirror I had put together for the benefit of a man who didn’t deserve any woman by his side. The only thing that Jonas Masterson deserved was a knife through his heart, and given the first opportunity, I would be the one delivering him with that fate. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but I can promise that one day, one day he will die by my hand. I ascended the stairs that led up into the main part of the house and went straight to the large master bedroom where Jonas stayed. As I walked through the door and shut it behind me, I could hear water shutting off in the master bathroom of sorts, signaling I had arrived just at the end of his morning shower.

  I found my place on his king-size bed like the good little slave I was. Oh, how the mighty Vasile name had fallen while in my hands. My father was probably rolling over in his grave, knowing that I was disgracing the family name by being so damn compliant. I was weak, and I knew it. The shame I felt was nothing compared to the love for my child that made me that way, it fueled my compliance, for her I would do anything, but it didn’t matter. I just had to keep going until…. well until forever. I didn’t think anyone was coming to save me now. It had been far too long. I’d stopped dreaming of that, there was no use in thinking of it, it only served to give me false hope, and that’s something I couldn’t handle.

  I was expecting Jonas to come out with a sly grin on his face, happy that I was there to please him first thing in the morning. His dark wispy curls would be slicked back with water, but I could hear his phone ring, buzzing against the bathroom counter. He didn’t try to hide his phone conversations from me anymore, so I just listened, wondering what weasley activity he was up to now.

  I heard his voice rise in anger and frustration as the clans were discussed. It sounded like the tensions had turned into an all-out war with them, something I could easily fix if released. Though, it sounded like a power struggle was happening rather than the cooperative voting set up as a precaution in case of there being no Vasile. How could there be a power play? Nobody had the right to take over the clans other than whatever man married me. Was Jonas going to make his move to take it all after all this time?

  I shook my head at the thought. He didn’t seem like he was interested in marrying me, though he easily could do so and take the claim now that we had a child together. I knew that no one would fight it, even if I did – I yet again, had no say. They would see the birth of my daughter, Bianca, as a cause for him to marry me. The surrounding circumstances wouldn’t matter, and anyone that did help me would most likely be butchered. Jonas is the type of man to remember who crossed him; he would personally sign the death warrant of anyone that would help me. I’m not naive; I know that. The thing is, there are always casualties in war. I will always be looking for the first opportunity to rid myself of him – to get Bianca and me out of this hell hole. But Jonas, wanting to marry me? That would require taking me out in front of the other can leaders, though, and one of them was the man I was supposed to be married to. I could not imagine something like that ending well for Jonas. He was brutal, but the other 13 clan leaders were certainly nothing to scoff at. Especially with Ion if he’s anything like his father. I wonder who is deadlier. Ion, or Jonas?

  As soon as he hung up, I knew I was in for it today. I would not beg for him to stop this time as it just made me feel worse. If I was going to keep doing this, I needed to go all in. So, I put a friendly smile on my face and brought my hip up on one side the way he liked it.

  Like many times before, Jonas had no words for me. I could see the anger in those dark brown, almost black, eyes of his. It appeared to me at times that he loathed me. I couldn’t at all explain why he kept me around like a piece of scrap he might find a use for one day. It wasn't like he didn’t have the resources to buy or threaten whatever woman he wanted.

  He whipped off the towel that was covering his body before sliding into the bed on top of me, letting his weight land on me completely. In everything he did, he was always forceful, and he liked deviant things I would have never thought of before, even by being the daughter of the king of the mob.

  Sure enough, in his mood, he reached for the nightstand drawer to pull out the small knife he kept there for such occasions. With a hiss that had always made me think of a snake, he slid the cold metal down my face and chest, taunting me with the instrument that would be used to leave another scar on my skin. As the cold reached my left thigh, I braced for a pain that had become all too familiar. With a grunt that sounded a bit like a pleasurable moan, Jonas sliced through my skin, causing a trickle of blood to drip from the new wound. It was one of many; he couldn’t help himself. Bringing me pain brought him so much joy, so much satisfaction. I wonder if he slaughtered my family for the significance, I can’t help but think why he still hasn’t married me – why he’s kept me locked up in this godforsaken place. The only explanation is that I’m a trophy, it wasn’t about marrying me, about advancing himself amongst the clans – it was about killing the Vasile’s, taking their only heir
and binding her to a life of servitude.

  I bit my lip as he let out a sigh of relief like he needed to do that to me in order to calm himself. Then, I felt his shaft against my thigh, having grown with the pleasure in the act he had just committed. Dropping the knife, he raised up on his palms and used the strength in his leg muscles to push my legs open. His shaft slid inside me, pounding against my cervix immediately. He never wasted any time.

  I reached back and wrapped both of my hands around the pillow at my head, digging my nails in. His cock kept slamming into me so hard; I couldn’t find any pleasure in it. I lost count of how many times he came in me, writhing over my body with gurgling moans. My insides were raw, and I was in tears by that point. It was all with a purpose, though. At least, that was what I told myself as I tried to walk with some dignity out of his room, going straight to the pitiful excuse for a kitchen Bianca and I had to use. It was almost time for her to have breakfast.

  Chapter Three

  Ion

  I sprang into action the moment they told me that Jonas Masterson had Mariana at a residence in Upstate New York. At least, that was what they believed to be true. All this time, she had only been a few hours away. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was a bit of a taunt, though. I knew exactly who this man was. I’ve seen this man multiple times; it infuriates me that he has had my Ana all this time. She’s been right under my fucking nose. He’s an unpredictable bottom feeder, and he was not at all unknown to most of the mob clans. Jonas Masterson had been after all the scraps the mob had to offer since I was just a child. I remembered how my father used to complain about him, as there was always some scheme gone wrong that he had to help clean up. Jonas was good at making a mess and leaving it to look like one of the clans was involved. That was only one of the reasons everyone in the mob hated the man. How he still found associates to serve him, I could not even fathom. It also made me wonder how he’s stayed alive for so long with so many enemies. Nevertheless, he won’t be alive for much longer.

  My phone rang, signaling that my men were ready. I had called some of my best for the task. We were going to roll up to that shithole Jonas had my princess in and blow it up. I was more than just muscle, and I suspected Jonas must have greatly underestimated my abilities when he decided he could just take whatever he wanted; including what was mine. Looking back now, I had just barely taken over my clan when it happened, but I learned quickly. I was known as the most ruthless, feared, brutal, and smart clan leader in the United States. Hell, I was much more frightening than those damn Germans or the English, and Jonas was about to fucking find out.

  I busted out of my loft, ready to see some heads roll. It would be a long drive there, though, plenty of time to sit on that anger of mine and make it sizzle. I hopped into the back of the armored car with my best men, packed in like sausages with each other and our guns to keep us company as the wheels rolled north, towards my destiny.

  As we went along, I began to think back to the day I got my purpose. At two years old, I was told a little girl was born. She was born on October 22nd, just weeks before my third birthday. My father explained to me that she was going to be my wife one day. He told me that her name was Mariana. I didn’t understand much about it, but both my life and Mariana’s life had changed drastically and been set in stone that very day. I had only met her a few times after that, but I could remember her so strongly because of her spirit.

  The fact that it was Jonas, that vile creature I had already loathed, had Mariana all these years, made me wonder what he could have done to her, whether that spirit of hers had resisted at all after eight long years. I shook my head in disgust and disbelief at the memory of something he did when I was just a teenager; one of those big messes that he made us clean up.

  Jonas had been in Russia, trying to forge more ties with the mob in some way, messing around with the Albu clan. Rhys Albu had only entertained him because he thought he could use a guy like Jonas to his advantage. It had all gone wrong when they had crossed paths with some of the prime minister’s family. The prime minister’s daughter had a taste for bad boys and latched onto Jonas and his big words Words he could never back up with anything of substance. Even with all his swindling the man had shit to his name. He had decided it would be a fun game and make himself look like a bad ass to Albu, who runs the Romanian mob clan in Russia if he killed somebody in the government. With the prime minister’s daughter, naked and in his bed, it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

  Her death turned the spotlight immediately onto the Albu clan. By that point, Jonas was long gone, onto the next terrible idea. So, the Albu’s had to sacrifice one of their own to make sure no more attention came their way. The mob did not like the spotlight, in fact, we avoided it at all costs, and the Albu’s were still the black sheep to this day. When my father told me all these things Jonas was doing, I used to wonder if Jonas was clinically insane. At the least, he was a liability. Yet again, I come to ask myself how this loose end has been allowed to live all these years? He should’ve been eradicated years ago. The clans would probably bow down to me just for getting him out of their hair.

  My thoughts returned to Mariana, and I cursed the car ride for allowing my brain to wander like that. I knew there was a distinct possibility that I would walk in and find an empty void in place of the woman that was supposed to be the heir to the Vasile throne and by my side. I had heard what torture and abuse could do to a person, and a part of me that I kept locked away most of the time, felt bad for her. It wasn’t something I would wish on someone, anyway. But in truth, it did not matter at all what state she was in, as long as she was alive and still capable of producing heirs. That makes me sound cold, and I am. My ruthlessness is no joke; I don’t joke. I make promises. I hope that she is alright, that Jonas hasn’t destroyed every single thread of the girl I knew all those years ago, but until we get to his shitty compound, I won’t know.

  My father taught me to be ambitious and ruthless, and there was no room for sympathy there. If I was to finally take my rightful place as the king of the mob and bring the clans back together, I had to focus on what needed to be done. I would save Mariana and end Jonas and his men for good. Then, she would be all mine to marry and produce heirs with; heirs that would solidify that it was my lineage that continued to rule all the clans. That was the purpose of the arrangement. I could use her blood and her body regardless of what was left of her spirit.

  I could not care.

  I did not care.

  Chapter Four

  Mariana

  I was reading to Bianca, something we did every day. I hadn’t been afforded much for her, but she had a collection of ten books now, scraps that had been found here and there and a couple I had convinced Jonas to have his men get for Bianca on one of his good days. She couldn’t just do nothing.

  My hand was running mindlessly through her silky blonde hair, as I watched the fibers pull through my fingers. I jumped as the door burst open to reveal Jonas, sweating bullets and in a panic as I had never seen him before. He wasn’t exactly a coward. In fact, he was the total opposite. More reckless, If something had him running scared, then I was scared too. “You need to come with me right now. Do not ask any questions. Grab the child, and follow me,” he ordered again, panting in his shaky state. I somehow knew not to ask questions, to not put up a fight, so I just followed his instructions.

  I grabbed Bianca, scooping her up into my arms, and followed him as he led us to the stairwell of the building We followed him through a heavy metal door which shut with a loud clang once we cleared the frame. Some of Jonas’ men were running down the stairs ahead of us. I could see that they were afraid of something, or someone. Had one of Jonas’ schemes finally caught up with him? It would figure that one day he would piss off the wrong guy. I always thought that would happen. If only it had happened sooner, I could have escaped this place and his grasp earlier.

  I ran as fast as I could after him, Bianca clutched tightly around my neck and wa
ist. It was getting hard to hold her, and I felt relief as we came to the bottom of the stairwell where everyone stopped. It was like they were waiting for an order form Jonas. Then, as he took his gun out of his pocket and began muttering, I started to worry. I kept staring at his gun; I’d been in situations with Jonas where he’d pulled his gun on me before but not with Bianca near. Not in the same room. Not in the same room with all of his men. They all had guns. Why did he need to have his drawn?

  Jonas turned his dark eyes on me, staring right at me. I knew there was a reason for my eerie feeling, and that look was it. Bianca’s hand was squeezing mine tightly, and I thought about all those times I had wished for death since being taken by Jonas. He had killed my entire family and taken me away from all I knew when I was only sixteen. He had wasted no time raping me and making me his broken toy. It had been a lot to take. I didn’t have a purpose, and as I didn’t get saved or let go, I felt like my life was over. But this was the first time since I had met Jonas, looking at his red face and cold, dark eyes, that I really thought my death might be close. If it was just me I would beg him for it; I would beg him to release that bullet between my eyes finally and put me out of my life of misery. But it’s not. I have her. I never thought I would be a mother. Truth be told I never thought I had what it took. Now I look back at the younger version of me, the one who couldn’t be a mother – or didn’t think she would be a mother and I shake my head. I want to tell her that when you have a child, your entire life changes, it’s not just about you – it’s about your child and you will do everything and anything to protect them, even if that means being cut, burned, hit, and raped.