Anguish Page 5
“And what if I don’t?” I countered back, anger flooding through me. I’d never felt such rage burn inside me before.
He lowered his lips next to my ear, whispering “Ana. Do. Not. Test. Me.”
Great, we were both furious. Things were about to get interesting.
“I told you that you would follow all doctor’s orders. That means you will not touch that treadmill or any other piece of equipment in this room until you are fully healed. This room is absolutely off limits to you.”
“So I guess you were telling the fucking truth then,” I snapped in anguish and frustration. “You said my time here wouldn’t be too different from what I had with Jonas. So, what is going to happen next? What is my punishment? Are you going to cut me with a knife, or is burning more your thing?” I stared him dead in the eyes, waiting for a response. I waited and waited until I realized that something about what I said shocked him into some kind of silence. Nothing about his stature softened, but he said nothing. At least, not until he grabbed my hip and placed his mouth right up to my ear. I was so stunned that I was unsure how to react to what was happening.
“I will NEVER hurt you,” he whispered clearly, “you are far too precious to me.” My knees went weak at his statement and his closeness. Despite all of the horrors I had seen, I could not deny the man was strong, young, and hot. And now, he was professing some kind of intent to care for me. I couldn’t let it be so simple as that. I couldn’t just give in, just in case he was going to be a copycat of Jonas. I didn’t think he would but I…..I have no idea who the man is standing in front of me.
“You cannot promise me that everything will be okay; that nothing will ever happen to me here that will hurt in some way,” I whispered, testing the waters.
“The hell I can’t,” he said, a little louder this time but still close to my ear. “I will promise you the fucking world.”
“Ion…,” I mumbled, looking up into his deep emerald green eyes.
“Ana.” He responded. I knew he would argue with me. I’ve known him since I was a child, but I have no clue of the man he’s become. One thing I’m sure of is that he’s as stubborn as an ox.
Ion
“Trust me” Those two words would mean nothing to most, but to me, they were terrifying.
I had spent 26 years so far on this planet and never in my life had I been this turned on by a woman. They came easy, sometimes too easy, in my line of business. Not that I had my sights set on anyone other than Mariana in the long run, but that didn’t mean I expected to be so attracted to her. My reaction to her body was intoxicating, and the way she challenged me was so different from other women I had known. Women had always just fallen at my feet, ready to serve.
There’s something so different about Ana; she doesn’t even come close to comparing to the rest. She’s an entirely different caliber.
I felt like I’ve been thrown on my ass by this woman. She shouldn’t be so intoxicating after the way she had been broken down by that snake, Jonas. And yet, here Mariana was, firing back at me and defending herself, regardless of the consequences. I should have been pissed, and I still was, but there was something else there too.
I remembered how her fiery spirit had wrapped me around her finger when we were children and realized she had not lost it, even in her captivity.
I could feel her nipples hardening against my chest through the soft fabric of her sweatshirt. She was aroused too, even if she wasn’t going to admit it. So, I did what any man would do. I leaned down, taking the back of her neck in my hand, and I put my lips to hers. I smiled at the way I caught her off guard, how she jumped at first and eventually gave in – like I knew she would. I let my tongue explore her mouth, pretending as if I might not be allowed to do it again. But maybe I wasn’t pretending. With the way, she stood up to me; it might have very well been the truth.
She kissed me back softly, exploring me just as I was her. I’ve told myself she’s just a means to an end, she’s my shot at being the leader of the mob, what I’ve been promised. I’ll be honest with myself and admit she’s more than that. She always has been more, even if I put on a front like she doesn’t mean it. I’m a dick; I treat her like shit – I know that. But dammit, what she’s been through makes me furious. She’s shaking at my mere hands on her, my hands, I would never hurt her, ever.
I move my lips away from hers, so I’m touching her cheek. “You’re trembling.”
“I…I know” She whispers out softly, I wrap my arms around her, my lips staying against her cheek. She has nothing to fear with me, the exact opposite actually. Everyone should fear her, the power she holds over me is no joking matter, and she somehow doesn’t know she has it.
“Draga,” I tell her, calling her my darling in our native tongue. I may not have been born and raised in Romania like Ana, but I still knew our language. “You have nothing to fear with me. I will always be here to protect you, to keep you safe, to provide for you, and all the same for Bianca as well. I need you to for once, trust me. Even if you can’t believe in anything else, trust me that I’ll never harm either of you. You’re both my responsibility; I protect what’s mine, draga.”
She nods her head against me as I rub my arm in slow circles against her back. She’s been through enough. I need to stop fucking around and be here for her. She doesn’t need me being a royal dick all the time. I know that, but I just can’t help it.
“What did he do to you?” I didn’t mean to ask it so bluntly; it must seem insensitive.
“You mean to ask me, what didn’t he do to me,” She says, her voice cracking, her body trembling even more. I take her hand, holding it in mine, gently stroking her skin with my thumb when I notice her wrist. I hadn’t noticed it before, I turned her wrist towards me, looking at the thick scar there. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”
I look down and meet her eyes, the scar is thick, looking like it was deep. “Jonas cut me. He cut me all the time and when it wasn’t cutting it was burning. When it wasn’t burning, it was….” She trailed off. I didn’t hear much of it – all I needed to hear was that he hurt her tremendously, for years.
“He slit my wrists. He thought it would be fun to see if I bled out. That’s what he told me at first, later he told me he only cut within an inch of my life.”
“Where are the rest?” I asked her, staying as silent as possible, waiting for her response.
“Everywhere.”
“Show me” I ordered
“No, I’m not – no.”
“Ana, show me what he did to you.” I wasn’t coming from a demanding place; I needed to see for myself the pain that he inflicted on her. She didn’t move an inch; her eyes were locked on mine. She was silently begging me not to make her do this.
I couldn’t.
“Ana. Strip.”
“Io-“
“STRIP.” I snapped at her.
Ana did as I directed, she took off her shirt and slid off those constricting pants that showed off her ass perfectly. She was left in just a sports bra and pair of panties in front of me. I took a step closer to her; she shook violently “Ssssh draga, all is okay. I’m only looking” I tell her, I look at her body, her small, frail, malnourished body. My first order of business will be making sure she’s eating enough now. She’s underweight by probably twenty pounds. I’d get forty pounds on her if it was up to me.
I glanced at her, assessing every mark on her body that was inflicted during her stay with Jonas. “What’s this?” I ask her, pointing to a scar the size of a golf ball on her stomach.
“He……he burned me with the bottom of his metal cane.” She told me, her voice not shaking as I thought it would.
“And this one, it looks new.” I point to her leg, where the scar looks fresh like it’s not completely healed.
“He cut me the day before you found me” She doesn’t look at me when she speaks, she doesn’t waver either.
“There will be no more pain. No more cuts, burns, nothing.” I tell her
, she nods, still not looking at me. “Don’t mistake my calm demeanor, Ana, I am furious. I will hang him in front of all the clans as an example. Anyone even thinks about harming you is signing their death wish. I will slaughter him, love.”
“No.” She says, her eyes meet mine. “You won’t take that away from me.” Even with everything she’s been through she’s still the strong willed little girl I knew, only now she’s grown into a spirited woman. “Tell me you won’t?” She asks of me.
“I can’t make that promise to you,” I tell her. The truth is I could make that promise to her, but I won’t. I know if I’m given the opportunity I will kill Jonas, I won’t think twice about it. She’s been through enough, and if I promise her this, I would be letting her down – which I couldn’t do.
She grabs my shirt, bunching her hand in a fist. “Yes, you will. You won’t take that from me. He took everything from me, Ion, everything.” She takes in a deep breath before she looks back up to me. “He slaughtered my parents in front of my eyes, but not before raping my mother in front of my father and me. I watched as he took his belt and wrapped it around my father’s throat, tightening it until he was on the verge of death. Jonas would stop, and do it over and over again.”
At this point, tears are streaming down her face. “You weren’t the one who had to watch as he destroyed everything that was my life. You weren’t the one who he used and abused every day for the last eight fucking years. So no, you will not be the one to take him from this world. I deserve that. I need that. And I will.” I notice the fire burning in her eyes backing up her words. She was right; I had no idea what she’d gone through. This is the first she’s really opened up to me about what happened with Jonas. I may grant her what she asks; I must make that decision.
Somehow, I believe I’ll do anything for her.
Chapter Nine
Ion
Six days into Mariana’s stay with me, and I was beginning to regret the promise I had made to her in my anger. I didn’t know what to expect from her, we would both fight like cats, or we would have moments filled with truth and understanding, moments that made me believe we could be more than our contractual agreement. Her feistiness had turned into her hanging that over my head whenever it was convenient. We continued to clash over what she should and should not be doing with her injury, and I was hoping that Monday, when I took her in for an appointment with the doctor, that she would get the go ahead for physical activity. A few days before, I would have told anyone who asked that it was my own selfishness that made me want that. I wanted to start fucking her as soon as possible. But it had morphed into a need for her to chill out and have an outlet. Eight years of pent up anger and pain were coming down on me like a thunderstorm.
I’d do anything that I could to help her get through that. It amazes me, I don’t even know the woman, and here I am falling at her feet, willing to give her the world when it should be the opposite, she should be thanking me for saving her. Not once have I heard it.
It was a few hours until I had to go to a meeting of my clan along with a few members of the Balan clan. They were very cooperative with me, unlike some of the others as of late. Hopefully, news of Mariana would spread quickly and would calm down all the trouble between clans. There would be no disputing my reign anymore after that.
I had just gotten off the phone to confirm my car for the meeting when a knock came at the door of my office of sorts. It was really just a room full of ambiguous documents, a desk and chair, and some books that looked good to have. I didn’t have much time or will to read, though I had enjoyed a few of the classics.
I looked up to see Mariana standing there, her blonde hair swinging over to the side as she craned her head into the room. She looked both hesitant to approach me and determined at the same time. I shook my head. She was quite the woman. There was no arguing with that.
“Did you need something?” I asked, maintaining my aura of superiority. I didn’t want her to lose that fire, but I also did need her to begin complying, especially if I was ever going to take her out in front of the other clans. If they saw her defiant nature towards me, there would be talks about how I was unfit to lead – about how my woman held the leash, and that simply would never happen.
“Yes, I do need something,” she said, coming all the way into the room. I couldn’t help but let my eyes trail down her body. She was wearing some of the clothes that had been purchased for her and put in the closet. The black jeans hugged her legs, and the shirt left a little peek of her cleavage. It made me think of the way her nipples felt up against my chest just a few days earlier. I held myself back that day, given the circumstances. I won’t do it again, the next time she’s clad against my chest with hardened nipples, I will take her the way I want.
My boner would be short lived, though, as she began yet another of her tirades. This one, I could, unfortunately, understand, though. “I need my daughter!” she said, her fist coming down on the desk hard. It was a move I had used once or twice and wondered if it was something she had seen her father do when she was younger.
“I already know that Ana, and I am working on it. You know how Jonas is with evading everyone when he wants to. He is not an easy man to find,” I explained, trying to nip the problem in the bud.
“Are you even really looking for her, or are you just going along with all of it?” she asked angrily. I could see the pain hidden behind her chocolate eyes. I did not know what it was like to have a child, but I could only imagine what she must have been feeling, knowing her daughter was out there with that monster. I hated that I could sympathize with this woman, a woman that was just supposed to be mine; easy as pie. But there was no denying anymore that the situation had changed things a little from what our fate would have been. It grated on my nerves, but I couldn’t fight against it all the time, or everything would crash and burn.
“Why would I do that?” I asked, trying to dismiss what she was saying and move on. If stern didn’t work, then non-caring denial would be my next move.
I knew it was a mistake, though, as I watched the light in her eyes catch on fire. She was about to snap. “So that I’ll fuck you and become your little breeder so you can secure your line! That’s all you want from me, isn’t it, Ion? My blood, my power. You don’t give a shit about me, or about Bianca. You just want your prize, your trophy, your compliant little betrothed who will suck you and fuck you whenever you command!” The words came out like the roar of a lion, and I have been reminded yet again of the horrors she went through that I was just beginning to learn. Cutting and burning a woman? That was some sick shit.
“Just fucking hang on a minute,” I told her, standing up so that I was above her. Yeah, I was a bit of a controlling and cocky asshole, but that was what it was going to take to take over for the Vasile’s and the remaining clans. “I told you I wasn’t going to hurt you, and while having children with you is a top priority, and I will never deny that I am most certainly looking for your daughter. I am not going to let a child suffer at the hands of that monster, regardless of her being mine or not. Now, if you want an update on finding her, then you can wait until after my meeting with the clan and the Balan’s later today,” I told her, brushing off the insult that made it feel like I was no better than a man like Jonas.
She stared at me with fire in her eyes, the same look in her eyes from our chat the other day. She said nothing, and neither did I, at least, not for a moment.
“For the record, Mariana Adriana Vasile, I do give a shit about you. Don’t you ever fucking say that shit to me again, do you understand? I’ve given a damn about you since I was three years old, and you of all people should know better. Don’t act like you don’t understand what I’m saying. I will take a lot from you privately, draga, but one thing I will not tolerate is what you’ve just said. I have cared about you since the day you were born, and I will continue to carry those feelings until the day I die. There was a reason I was the one chosen for you, don’t you believe that?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” I asked her angrily.
“I’m going with you. I want to see if my you will be a good ruler or not,” she said, she glanced up at me, a small smirk forming at the sides of her mouth.
“I’ll be the best-damned leader you’ve ever seen,” I mumbled as she let me through. “If you’re going, you will look perfect, and you will keep quiet unless you are asked a direct question!” I called to her from far away. She walked down the hallway and slid into our bedroom entryway.
Mariana
I sat there politely with my legs crossed under the table as I listened to the meeting Ion was running with his clan and some of the Balan’s, who was the clan south of us. Apparently, in all the chaos that had ensued after my capture and the death of my family, Ion and Anton Balan had struck up an easy alliance – as they should have. It made entirely no sense to me why the clans weren’t all on the same page. We’re all part of the same mob; it’s not like we’re the Irish and the Russians. We’re on the same team. From what I’ve witnessed they had been working together to keep the peace as well as find me.
Anton was older than Ion by about a decade, but he had a lot of respect for me as well as Ion. The first thing he had done is give his condolences to me for the loss of my family. It was strange to see how everyone gravitated towards Ion as the natural leader, and it didn’t seem to have to do with my presence at all. He had commanded it from them long before I had arrived.