Inc's Regret (Satan's Raiders MC Book 1) Page 4
“Smart plan. When they hear of that shit happening they always end up goin’ into hiding.”
“Exactly and that’s somethin’ I’m not cool with.”
“You realize you’re gonna have to tell Breaker at some point, right? You can’t go rogue on this shit, brother. It’ll only make things worse for you down here. Especially after I’m gone. You know I’m the only one in there that ever has your back.”
Armor pulls a cigarette from the pocket of his jeans and sticks his hand in the other. “Fuck, you got a light?”
I dig into my own pocket and hand him my lighter. He’s quick to light the cigarette and hand it back to me, inhaling the cancer stick we know will one day catch up to us. “I’m not lookin’ forward to you leavin’, man. It’s gonna fuckin’ suck.”
“We can both attest to that,” I grumble. I’m not lookin’ forward to seein’ her every fuckin’ day with Zane’s baby, running around playing the perfect wife. She was supposed to be doin’ that shit with me, not with him.
My phone starts to buzz in my pocket, so I pull it out and see it’s my sister. “Hey, everything okay?” I say upon answering.
“You need to come home, and you need to come home right now, Tanner.”
“Huh? Why? The fuck has happened over there?”
“It’s Dad . . . things aren’t looking good, Inc. They’re preparing us for the worst, told us he has stage four lung cancer on top of it. They ran so many tests and the cancer has metastasized to almost every part of his body. The doctor told me the reason he fell is probably because he got so weak and, I really feel like you need to come home.”
I don’t want to go home. I want to let the old fucker die knowing I didn’t even come to say goodbye. He made my childhood a living hell. He put me in that fucking torture camp. He was the one who drove me out there and threw me on the ground in front of their founder, telling him to make sure I wasn’t a faggot by the time he came back for me. I spent an entire summer in the deep South, being starved, trapped in a cage, soaked with water, and then shocked with cattle prods. Those are only some of the things they did to me but even as the years pass-by I’ll never forget what was done. The events still haunt my dreams, plaguing me in the most inconvenient of moments.
“I’m not coming home, Sierra. Sorry, but I have too much shit going on.” It’s a bullshit excuse and she probably knows it. Sierra’s two years younger than me but I know she’s aware I went away to a ‘special’ type of summer camp as our dad explained it.
“Tanner,” Sierra hisses my name and the line goes silent. I can only hear people shuffling around on the other end, giving me the idea, she’s moving through a crowd or something. “You have two choices here. You can either stay in Los Angeles and not come, or you can get your ass over here and be here for Mom, and in doing that you can confront him for all the shit he did to you.”
“What’re you talking about?” Sierra doesn’t know shit. At least, I didn’t think she knew anything.
“I’m not an idiot, Tanner. God, do you think I didn’t know what he did? That man, Isaiah Stoltzfus, he came to the house before Dad took you down South. I overheard most of their conversation and while I can’t remember every detail, I vividly remember the words ‘conversion camp’ and the phrase ‘my son’s a faggot’. I remember the way Dad asked if he could ‘fix’ you, like you were broken in the first place. God, we both know you’re not the broken one. If anyone is it’s him. Now don’t talk to me like I’ve lost my damn mind and you don’t know anything I’m talking about. You know, and I’m sure you remember it even more vividly than I do.”
I run my hand over my head in complete disbelief. Sierra never said any of this shit to me. Not once. She just held it in when she knew this entire time? Who does that? Why did she do it?
“Didn’t know you knew about that shit,” I mutter, looking to Armor I mouth ‘I’ll be a few minutes’. He nods and walks a few feet in front of me, giving me a bit of privacy.
“I pay attention to the details, Tanner. Always have. Now, what’s it gonna be? You gonna stay out in Los Angeles and lose your chance to tell this man he didn’t win?”
She makes a good point. “Fine. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Okay, I’ll tell Mom, and I think you know it but she really needs the both of us right now. She’s barely holding it together.”
I have no idea how a woman like my mother fell in love with a disgusting creature like my father. She’s the type who brought in homeless kids on the street, baked cookies for whatever bake sale she could, and volunteered around our community.
“Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as I can. I just have to handle some shit around here, but I’ll get the first flight out to West Virginia. Did they say how much time he has?”
I don’t miss the way Armor stops in his tracks and looks back at me, furrowing his brows. He’s obviously heard me.
“A few days. I mean, it’s bad. He must’ve had cancer for ages.”
“Okay, I’ll get there as soon as I can. It good if I text you later and let you know when I’m coming?”
“I’d prefer it, honestly. I’ll grab you from the airport and everything.”
“Okay, sounds good. Thank you. I’ll text you later, but I’m gonna get back to the shit I was doin’.”
“Okay, be safe, Tanner. Talk to you later.” The line goes dead and I slide my phone back into my pocket.
Fuck, I never thought the day was going to lead to this. I’m having a hard time processing all the shit my sister told me, but I knew this day would come at some point. My dad even smoked for about forty years so the smoking did catch up with him. Fuck, it’s just another reason for me to try and stop this shit while I can.
I mean, Octavia always got on me about my bad habit when we were together. I should’ve listened but this could be the wake-up call I need.
“You good, brother?” Armor asks while blowing smoke out of his mouth.
I nod. “Yeah, my dad’s dying. Sierra just called me to tell me I need to get home as soon as possible. So, I hate to cut shit short but we need to roll back to the club. I need to speak to Breaker as soon as possible and head out. They don’t know how long he’s got and my mom and sister need me.”
“Yeah, alright, let’s go.” Armor throws the cigarette to the ground and steps on it, putting it out. We both continue walking up the sidewalk until we’re at our bikes, and before we know it, we’re on our way back to the club.
Chapter Six
“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who’s unafraid to be herself.”
~ Emma Stone
Octavia
Sipping on my coffee, I type away with my other hand at the laptop. Sure, I could put the coffee down and write faster, but I need the caffeine. Neo had me up almost all night and my eyelids keep fluttering at the screen in front of me. Shit, I need to chug this coffee and pray it wakes me up enough to get my work done. There’re a few jobs I need to post online to Upwork to help get a virtual assistant to help me. I specifically need one for website updates and maintenance, and then one to help me go through customer support emails. I have a small company sub-contracted to answer the company’s phone line, going through customer support that way, but until now I haven’t had any other help . . . when I’ve obviously needed it.
Zane actually suggested a few weeks ago that I hire Shiloh to do all of that for me . . . but I don’t want to waste her on those tasks. She’s helpful for keeping me on schedule, helping me organize shoots, and all that. There’s no one else I’d trust like her to help keep me on task, plus she goes above and beyond to make sure I’m getting exactly what I need done. That’s someone any business owner would want working one-on-one with them.
“Morning, baby,” Zane mutters in his half awaken voice. He wraps his arms around me on the couch and sits down beside me. I continue typing away, giving him a quick peck on the lips. There’s so much work and I really can’t afford to get behind, especially not when the company is growing so much. I want to keep up this momentum, keep the expansion, keep the new subscribers, and potentially hire more Vixens soon. A few of my girls work remotely because they’re not in the situations most of them have been in, which I’m so thankful for. I don’t envy the ones here at the club because they’ve been abused in some sort of relationship and need a safe haven. Luckily, we can be that for them.
“Good morning,” I respond back, clicking save I move over to the next tab back into my emails. Jesus, I have a hundred and forty-seven to read through. Lord help me. I place my coffee mug down on a coaster on the coffee table and read through a couple before the laptop’s being yanked from my hands and set on the table.
“What the hell Z—” His lips come crashing down onto mine, sloppy and disgruntled. He snakes his hand around the back of my neck and somehow lowers my body to the cushions of the couch. I’m wearing a long silk chemise with a lace trim at the bottom, that stops around my mid-thigh.
His lips flutter over mine, sucking mine into his mouth and he leaves somewhat hard bites, nipping at me anyway he can. With one hand he trails it over my breasts, pinching my nipples.
“Mmm,” I moan at the sudden sensation, craning my neck back a bit. If I’d known this was the way he was taking it, I wouldn’t have gotten a bit snippy with him.
Zane pulls his hand away from me and pulls his cock from the slit in his boxers. He yanks the bottom of my chemise up, rips my panties off, and impales me. I moan at the sudden intrusion, kissing him hungrily.
Tilting my hips upward, he grinds his cock directly against my G-spot with every thrust. I dig my nails into his shoulders and our lips don’t part once. Through this he’s kissing me with the same need as when he first started.
His serpentin
e tongue claims mine and I revel in the way this feels, the pleasure slowly making its way through my body. Sadly, Zane and I don’t get time like this often. Neo is such a wildcard and while he’s an amazing little boy, he usually has Zane and I up on alternate schedules.
I tilt my hips up more, even wrapping my legs around Zane’s torso and he pounds himself harder inside me. Pulling my lips away slightly, I break our kiss, but our lips are still touching. “Zane,” I moan, digging my nails into his shoulders even further.
He pummels into my pussy with purpose. “I want another fuckin’ baby with you, O’. God, I need another baby with you,” Zane admits, making my eyes go wide at his admission. This isn’t something we’ve even talked about, but I knew some day he’d want a child. I mean, Neo is his son. He tells everyone he’s his son, but in my heart, I’ll always worry if he feels like he needs more. I know it’s my own anxieties, but . . . it’s something I do worry about. Zane is the perfect man though so I have no reason for these worries. “I’m not gonna pull out this time. I wanna fuckin’ coat your pussy with my seed.” Zane and I started using the pull-out method after Neo was born, and because I love to suck cock, he’d start fucking my mouth when he was close to release.
“Are you s-sure?” I ask him as his hand drifts down to my clit, fluttering it relentlessly. My breath catches in the middle of my throat, so my words come out a bit choppy.
“I’ve never been more fuckin’ sure. I want you to have another fuckin’ kid, and I want another baby. I fuckin’ love Neo so much and I want more. God, I . . .” Zane releases my clit, brings his hands up to my face, and cups my cheeks. Staring me dead in the eyes, I see the level of seriousness he has. “All I can think about is you swelling up again, growing another baby in that belly of yours. The way your pussy soaks almost every day near the half-way point . . . the way you need me inside you, how you beg me to fuck you. I need that, O’. I fuckin’ need you.”
I hear every word he’s saying and know the last couple months have been a little rough on our sex life. Tears well in my eyes and I try to fight them back, but it’s so hard. Taking my hands from his shoulders, I run my fingers through his hair and sensually kiss him. “I love you. I’m sorry, I love you. I’ll make sure we have more one-on-one time together. I’m so sorry.”
He shakes his head, pressing his forehead against mine while slowing his pace down as he thrusts inside me. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You’ve been raising our son. There’s nothing to apologize for, nothing at all.” He takes his hands away from my face and hoists up my left leg while his alternate hand brushes against my clit. My walls close in around his cock and I know I’m about to blow. I’m about to lose everything I’ve been holding in and we’re about to soak this fucking couch. I don’t even give a flying fuck.
“Zane, I’m so close,” I mew, grabbing onto the cushions. My body begins to shake as the waves rock through me.
My clit’s pulsating and Zane’s grunting, “Fuck! Fuck, take that cum of mine, baby, take it all.”
I tilt my head back against the couch and moan. Zane shoves the top of my chemise over and reveals one of my breasts. He closes his lips over it, nibbling down on my nipple and I turn to make sure Neo’s still sleeping sweetly. Something tells me we’re going to be at this for a while, and I silently pray Neo sleeps in this morning.
Chapter Seven
I’m not here to play games. I’m here to dominate
~ Peer Hustle
Inc
I wasn’t able to get a flight into Charleston until a day after I spoke to Sierra on the phone. I went and spoke to Breaker, who immediately understood why I needed to bounce and only asked that I get some of my shit together. He mentioned something about Sunny, Octavia’s mom, heading up to Montana around Valentine’s Day. She was going to fly, but since Ice is heading with her now, they’ve opted to drive. Sunny’s a new nurse at the hospital she’s working at and has accumulated some vacation time from what she’s told me, but she couldn’t take it around the holidays because she’s the new kid on the block. Ice is Octavia’s father and they broke up when Octavia was like one or two. Looks like they’re on their way to getting back together but neither one of them will admit it. Breaker said he’d get his dad to haul my bike and some of my shit, like clothes and whatever from my room. So, I packed shit up and it’s in boxes waiting for him.
Chains drove me to the airport this morning and I brought a carry-on bag with me, deciding to make shit easy. Ice will have all my weapons and whatnot, considering we can’t bring any of this stuff on airplanes.
I’ve just gotten off the plane with my bag and I’m making my way to the pickup area. Sierra said she’d come get me and I told her when my plane was scheduled to land. We got here about ten minutes early and knowing my sister I’ll be waiting for twenty. I continue down through the airport and grab a hot coffee at a store, then a chai tea for Sierra. She’s crazy about that shit.
Walking with the two drinks I head up the corridor a little bit more and then walk through the double doors that lead outside. Surprisingly enough, I spot Sierra’s dark chocolate hair with a few blonde highlights in it. It’s darker than the last time I remember, but she’s always changing her hair these days. She’s leaning against her navy-blue Kia Optima, wearing those chunky hoops she’s been wearing since she was fifteen.
I head toward her and she glances up from her phone, drops it on the cement, and comes running up to me. We haven’t seen each other in three years, and fuck, I hated not seeing her. Our schedules weren’t lining up and we accepted it for what it is. We’re the type to just take it day by day and make sure we’re communicating.
“I’m so fucking happy to see you.” She beams while wrapping her arms around me. I make sure to keep our drinks away from her flailing movements. “But, lord, you look like a full-on felon. When did you get these tats?” She points to her throat.
“Earlier this year, wanted to add some new ink. Got this too.” I pull up my shirt and show her the set of praying hands on the right side of my stomach.
She laughs, smiling brightly as she pulls away. “I should’ve known. Your idea has always been the body’s a canvas. I think you might kill Dad when you walk in the room, piercing the skin in multiple ways and all.”
Our father is a Christian, and while we are too, we don’t interpret the bible the way he does. Now, it might be odd the fact I believe in the big man upstairs, but I’m a firm believer there is something higher than us. Our dad thinks it’s a sin to pierce the skin, get tattoos, be gay, bisexual, etc. And I’m sure he thinks anyone who’s transgender, is an abomination. My viewpoint is, if you wanna live your life, live your fuckin’ life. Don’t let people stop you. Ironic considering the reason I walked off from Zane and Octavia that night was because of him. But I’m going to Montana and I don’t know what sort of doors will be open when I get there. It might not be open, but if it is, I’m gonna try to give it another go. Octavia is . . . she’s my biggest regret in life. I let her walk away from me and go to Montana. Granted, she came back and gave me an offer that was almost too good to refuse . . . to be with her and Zane . . . and after we all fucked, I walked out.
The only person I can blame for that is myself. I was the one who walked away from her.
“Yeah, maybe,” I grumble, handing her the chai tea I bought for her inside. She brings the drink up to her nose and inhales.
“God, I missed you. You’re the best brother I have,” she giggles, walking around to the driver’s side of the car.
I put my hands on the top of her car and cock a brow. “Correction, I’m the only brother you have.”
She waves her hand in dismissal. “You’re always taking the fun out of things. C’mon, get in. We need to get there. Dad’s doctor said today he’s not doing well. He took a dip overnight and he likely won’t make it through.”
Most people would see the calm demeanor my sister has and think she’s an emotionless void, but the fact of the matter is she’s feeling it but hiding it deep down inside her. She’s always been like that from the time she was little. Sierra wasn’t always like that though. I really think our dad fuckin’ screamed at her for bein’ a little baby bitch so much that she automatically programs her brain to think crying is something weak people do. In all reality it’s not accurate. Strong people cry too, and it’s perfectly acceptable. God, this makes me wonder again how our mom fell for a man like him.